13 Things I Will Do For My Future Love

8. I will give you space when you need it.

Updated 11 years ago, April 4, 2014

I’ve made countless lists of specific qualities a man MUST have if we are ever to date. They are usually quite…long. Instead, here is a list of some of the things I would do for YOU – future boyfriend/husband, wherever you may be!

1. I will write about you, for you, and to you.

I will write you love letters describing the way your fingers feel inside me. I will write 50 different things I like about you on post-it notes and stick them around your bedroom and in your car. I’ll write an article about the way your eyes make me want to howl at the moon or an essay deconstructing each and every nuance of your mouth. You will be my muse.

2. I will cook for you.

I will make you dinner when you get home from work. I will make you waffles on Saturday morning wearing nothing but your button-up. I’m really good at making pasta dishes and desserts. Having a bad day? BAM. BROWNIES. Sick of chocolate? Impossible, but also, BAM. ALFREDO.

3. I will take care of you when you’re sick.

I will tuck you into bed, put cold cloths on your forehead, make you tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches and keep you stocked up on medication and tissues. I will mother the shit out of you if I have to. YOU WILL NOT DIE ON MY WATCH, I SWEAR IT!

4. And I’ll take care of you when you’re not sick.

You know, the normal things one does for another person when they care about that person.

5. I’ll make you laugh.

…or try…although if we can’t laugh together I won’t be allowing you betwixt these thighs…

6. And support your dreams and goals…

…but keep you grounded at the same time. Whatever you want to do with your life, I promise you I will help you every step of the way. But if it gets to the point where you’re calling a cardboard box “home” and yelling “I just wanna make REAL ART!” we should probably talk.

7. I will get along with your family and friends.

I can get along with anybody. Literally. Anybody. I may be murdering you on the inside, but on the outside I’m all, “Omg that’s so adorbs, tell me more, I must know everything!” while washing dishes and impressing your father with my knowledge of cigars. (Yes, I have knowledge of cigars. Impressed yet, future father-in-law?) I am extremely easygoing. You want to have a night out with your friends? Go for it — and here’s $5, have a drink on me. If I’m not busy, I’ll even pick you and your friends up later when you’re too drunk to drive.

8. I will give you space when you need it.

Have you been on edge lately? Has your job/friends/family/me been driving you bonkers? Is being alone all you want in your life right now? Go for it. (And here’s a brownie, feel better boo.)

9. I’ll communicate honestly and without anger.

I can’t say that I will never get angry, because I will. But, give me a few moments to collect my thoughts and I will come back calm and honest. Bluntly honest. I would rather you be bluntly honest with me too, because then we can talk it through and get back to lovin’ on each other.

10. I’ll save you half the candy bar (and always give you the bigger half!).

Yup, self-sacrifice. I went there.

11. I will put thought into my presents for you.

Pretty self explanatory…

12. I’ll give you (naked) back rubs when you’ve had a long day.

I am awesome at these, FYI.

13. And I’ll stand up for you.

I will be your hero, baby. But seriously, I will. I know you can take care of yourself just fine. Still, I will take care of anybody who tries to talk behind your back (*cracks knuckles*). I will never complain about you to my friends, or tell them about that one time you peed yourself at summer camp… because I’ve got your back. I am loyal and dependable and not just an amazing lover (*winketywink*) but also an amazing friend.