Nicole Mullen

Obviously we can’t trust doctors, and it’s becoming more and more difficult to trust Jenny McCarthy, so the only thing left for mothers to do is to trust ourselves.

Growing up rich doesn’t mean that you know how to cook for yourself.

It’s called capitalism guys, and it’s good when I’m the one consuming.

Sometimes content is hard to generate. What if I’m not mad about anything this week? What if I literally do not have a single opinion about anything at all?

When the Hillary 2016 campaign logo was released, I was quick to analyze it with my conspiratorial brain.

It’s not that Noah’s tweets were offensive – it’s that they were kind of accurate.

Obtaining sexual consent for Virgos is a lot like calling your parents for Scorpios. They just can’t do it, and honestly, you can’t really blame them for it. It goes against everything the moon has programmed them to think and feel.

Chinese babies do best if they have an ethnically appropriate diet. This means absolutely NO breast milk.

We were all crowded in a circle by the water fountain in the long hallway of Landmark High School…

“It’s messed up,” says one customer. “These companies are supposed to pander to me indirectly through diversity in ad campaigns or through delicate appropriation of BEV. They’re not supposed to flat out endorse or condemn racism one way or the other.”

Cheers, mates!

To be clear, right off the bat I should let you know that I am not black.

I’ll tell you who I feel bad for this week, and no, it’s not those police officers that were shot in Ferguson. It’s those SAE fraternity boys that were unfortunately recorded on a cell phone while singing a racist song about their racist fraternity.

I hope this letter teaches you something about my opinions as a mommy and how I feel the government should do business.

After patiently and anxiously waiting out Black History month like a hyperactive child on the last days of a school year, it’s finally my turn, as a white woman.

To me, I don’t even see a dress. I see culture.

The bottom line here guys is that even doctors can’t be sure how the human body works, so we shouldn’t expect lawmakers to know either.

Soon enough we’ll all be able to couch ourselves in material comfort and just patiently await death like we used to before the towers fell. Some folks call it anti-intellectualism, I call it remembering the 90s.