Looks Like God’s Real After All, Idiots

Well, I’ve been saying it for my entire life (with a brief exception of a few years in my teens where I decided to be an atheist to “test the waters” of sinnery) but now I can triumphantly announce with 100% certainty that God is, without question, for real. He exists, and ironically, it was science that proved it.

As a person that would rather avoid conflict and keep everyone happy, I tend to bite my lip when it comes to religion. Every day I face situations where one of my idiot moron atheist friends will sit there running their stupid mouth off about evolution or the Big Bang theory or gravity or some other dipshit atheist idea, and I have to just smile and nod and remind myself that I’m only friends with them because they’re rich. I don’t argue. I don’t point out the flaws in their logic. I just make a mental note to give them a bible for their birthday next year, and hope they get the message.

Not anymore. Finally, thanks to science, which had long been stolen from theists and used for nefarious reasons by the atheists to insult and demean God, we have definitive proof that the Big Bang did not happen, which means of course that God is real.

An article published in the Daily Mail yesterday outlines this monumental discovery:

Our universe, according to Einstein’s theories, is around 13.8 billion years old and formed from an infinitely small point during the Big Bang.

While most people accept this model, scientists still can’t explain what happened inside this tiny point – called a singularity – or what came before it.

Wow. Einstein was wrong. EINSTIEN, people! The man who was arguably the smartest person of all time (and who also believed in God by the way) was wrong about the origins of the universe. Can you believe how stupid this makes atheists look? Can you believe how excited I am about this? Not for nothing, but if the smartest person in the history of the world can’t explain the universe, isn’t it time to admit that knowing such a thing is impossible? Isn’t it time to admit that God is real, and is the only one capable of knowing such a thing?

If the Big Bang Theory is false, by extension so many other things are actually false. A lot of “science” in recent centuries has sought superfluous explanations for phenomena that had previously been explained by the words of the Christian God that were put down in late antiquity. If the Big Bang is a lie, a fakery if you will, it means that evolution is also untrue, and most biological “knowledge” is also mostly bullshit for that matter. It means that there’s a good chance that things like homosexuality are a choice after all. It means that gay marriage might not be such a good idea. But it’s important that we wait until all the data comes out before we say anything like that conclusively. All I’m saying is, fingers crossed.

The last couple of years have been definitely anti-Christian so pardon me for reveling in this newfound knowledge (or lack of knowledge) I should say. This is a big win for those with faith, and there’s nothing unchristian about shoving it in a couple of loudmouth atheists faces for a change.