Nico Lang

“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

Did you ever want Walt Disney and company to explain your period to you? Now, with Disney’s “The Story of Menstruation,” you and Uncle Walt can finally have that period talk you’ve been meaning to have.

Ohio might be like a drunk uncle, but it’s your drunk uncle.

In the 80s, Maxwell sang that he always felt like “someone” was watching him, but according to a new leak from whistleblower Edward Snowden, it’s not just anyone. It’s Benjamin Netanyahu.

When women are in the picture, it’s Scarlett Johansson showing her butt or Natalie Portman standing off to the side, wind in her hair. They are props and accessories, rather than the pole that holds up the tent itself.

If people accuse you of overthinking, that usually means you’re thinking the right amount.

There’s a special place in hell for people who don’t tip, but one Red Lobster customer deserves an even more special place.

If the internet is to be believed, Pitch Perfect is the new Mean Girls.

To get you in the spirit of the season, here’s 35 photos to remind you why we put up with this city, even at its worst.

27. “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

This direct-to-video release stars Miley Cyrus as Lola (whose nickname is “LOL”) and Demi Moore as her mother. I have already told you everything you need to know.

Fact: The Wizard of Oz has some of the wildest behind-the-scenes facts of any movie ever.

This is an excerpt from my first novel, called “The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses,” which was the original title of ‘The Matrix’ when it came out in France. It’s about moving to another country to escape your problems, which is (apparently) a bad idea.

1. NEVER USE COMIC SANS FOR ANYTHING EVER.

We love seeing men break bad, as we vicariously live through Don Draper’s chic infidelities. But with women, it’s not so cool. They’re just breaking bitch.

Did you know Gandhi never said, “Be the change you want to see in the world?”

Love sucks, but it sucks a lot less when you find the right person to be in love with. Actually, you might find that it doesn’t suck, not even a little bit, not even at all.

When you’ve gotten over the pain, staying in this third stage — the place where you don’t feel hungry, just empty and tired — becomes like a habit, the thing you use to feel death inside you. Some people smoke. You just don’t eat.