Nico Lang

“Lign in drerd un bakn beygl!”: A curse meaning “May you lie in the ground and bake bagels.” To explain, this curse means that you should burn in hell for all eternity and bake bagels that you may never eat.

1. “As I Lay Dying,” Written and Directed by James Franco

Co-Le Sales Company asks: “Do you still beat your wife?” Their answer: “Maybe you never should have stopped.”

“I like the pole and the hole, and right now I’m as moist as a snack cake down there. So, why don’t you come over to my crib after school, and I’ll make your pinky all stinky.”

Society loves an easy target, especially if the target has a vagina.

“Isn’t what you asked for? Isn’t it enough? When will it ever be enough?”

7. Drinking caffeine will stunt your growth.

Bonus: When You’re On The Internet Instead Of Working And Your Boss Notices

Gretchen Wieners once advocated that everyone start saying “fetch,” but don’t stop there. Don’t be a tosser. Use them all.

8. Murder.

The more we shame her, the bigger she gets. At this rate, she’ll be the biggest “slut” we’ve ever seen.

The world is his sexual oyster.