Nico Lang

39. If you were to take a shot every time you or your friends say the word “problematic,” you would always be shitfaced.

“It’s like a made-for-TV movie.”

Bald people are superheroes.

39. “Leaving Las Vegas”: When it came out in Japan, the movie was called “I’m Drunk and You’re a Prostitute.”

Gerber had some issues selling their baby products in France. If you speak French, you can guess why. “Gerber” means “to vomit” in French.

“You deserve to be happy.”

The problem isn’t school. It’s Jaden Smith, who needs to drop out of existence, or at least call in sick for a while.

Seth MacFarlane doesn’t hate racism. Rest assured, America: Seth MacFarlane hates you.

1. You can quote the entire show in your sleep — and probably do. You’ve been known to reference GG without even realizing that was a Gilmore Girls quote.

3. Against Me!

The clown is expected to be out again tonight during the twilight hours, wandering the Northampton streets. Good luck getting to sleep, everyone.

7. You flirt with ordering something new, but you always know what you’re going to get. You know what you like and you don’t apologize.

It’s pop imitating drag imitating pop.

When you fall in love in the autumn, you get to keep it all through the winter –memories as wonderful and wistful as jumping into a pile of leaves. This Fall, don’t be afraid to dive in.

When Streep tried out for ‘King Kong,’ Dino DeLaurentis told his son, in Italian, that Streep was too ugly for the part. Meryl shocked the sh*t out of him when she replied back in fluent Italian.

Sadly this is not an Onion news article. This is very real.

“You don’t need no gun control. We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. ‘Cause if a bullet costs $5000, there’d be no more innocent bystanders.”

I knew I was in love when I pulled his body from a car wreck.