Nico Lang

We’ll get to check out the final product on March 7, 2014. Mark your calendars.

Recover from your disappointment with the ‘Dexter’ finale by rebounding with something new. You need that in your life.

“I wanted to make something that says no matter how bad you fuck up…you’re always allowed to be better. You’re always allowed to grow up, if you want.”

For everyone who loves you on the internet, three more are waiting to tell you to kill yourself.

23. Troll 2.

During my freshman year of college, I could fit into a friend’s size 0 pants. I was exactly the size we tell pretty women to be. When a woman is good-looking, we tell her that she could model. She could be a zero, just like me.

If you’re black, you’re guilty until proven innocent.

I firmly believe that you can do anything you want while you’re in a relationship, but before you go about throwing yourself into something, it’s best to ask the big questions.

In 2013, we have our Channing Tatums and our Zac Efrons, but nothing we will ever produce can hold a candle to Montgomery Clift and James Dean. They just don’t make sexy like they used to.

I know the internet (including myself) is all up on Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ryan Gosling for being ridiculously, ridiculously good looking, but let’s pay respect to the reigning king of  hot people: Marlon Brando.

Fact: If you watch Citizen Kane with your boyfriend and he doesn’t like it, you may want to consider getting a new boyfriend.

If we’re going to fail, we should at least shoot for the heavens trying.

3. What 9/11 is.

31. Thin crust pizza is for quitters.

2. Your town shuts down on game day.

Q: “Siri, will you tell me a joke?” A: “The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.”

Miley Cyrus currently racks up over 1 billion Google hits, making her more searched than Lady Gaga, Barack Obama, Katy Perry or God.

18. You’ve replaced human contact with Adderall.