Nico Lang

“Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?”

“There’s no cure for ugly, but you can make yourself into a human optical illusion.”

This is history in the making, folks.

When isn’t he great? It’s the one thing in life you can count on: The sun rises, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is wonderful. These are the laws of nature.

It’s a testament to Harvey Milk’s statement that queer people need to stand up and be counted, being faces and presences in the movement. We need to be on people’s televisions, in their homes and in their lives — because it makes us harder to discriminate against.

Whether you’re a cat or a dog person, we can all agree on one thing: The animals got us beat.

Although the internet loves Ryan Gosling and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I firmly believe that Anderson Cooper is the perfect man. What more could you possibly want?

6. Saying it wrong: “Suppository of information.” Doing it right: “Repository of information”

If you liked Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich or Adaptation, stop what you’re doing and check this out.

Woody Allen is his own Bartlett’s, except with a whole lot more material about getting off.

The Craft = Mean Girls + witchcraft

Rebel Wilson never planned on pursuing acting professionally and only got into it after getting malaria during a Youth Ambassador for Australia trip. During her fever hallucinations, she envisioned herself as an actress.