Have you ever wondered what your favorite books would be called if they were being honest? In the name of truth in advertising, I put together a list of 27 books, some classics and others modern bestsellers, retitled with more appropriate names.

Have your own suggestions for future entries? Tweet your suggestions to me @Nico_Lang.

1. The Great Gatsby

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, As Told By a Total Dick

2. The “A Song of Ice and Fire” Series

Everyone You Love Will Die

3. Huck Finn

Racist Kids Say the Darndest Things

4. Animal Farm

Babe: Pig in the Dystopia

5. The Fountainhead

Capitalism and Architecture Make Ayn Rand Down to Fuck

6. The Da Vinci Code

Art History for Dummies

7. Ethan Frome

Nothing Happens But You’ll Have to Read It in AP English Anyway

8. Tropic of Cancer

Everyone Wants to Fuck Henry Miller

10. Where the Red Fern Grows

Your Childhood is Over

11. The Scarlet Letter

She’s Not a Whore, She’s My Martyr

12. The Odyssey

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gods

13. A Separate Peace

Love (and Hate) in the Time of Homosexual Subtext

14. Carrie

It Gets Better (After Everyone Around You Dies)

15. Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

All These Dudes Have Mommy Issues

16. Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Porn Is Okay If You’re Reading It in School

17. Catcher in the Rye

#FirstWorldProblems Before It Was Trendy

18. The Sun Also Rises

Jews, Amiright?

19. Ulysses

James Joyce Gets Off (on Reading His Own Words)

20. Cyrano de Bergerac

Catfish: The Book

21. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Prettiest Woman

22. Gone Girl

See? Your Parents’ Marriage Wasn’t So Bad

23. Through the Looking Glass

Acid Trips…for the Whole Family!

24. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hipsters Don’t Know What David Bowie Is

25. Crime and Punishment

Superman (It’s Not Easy)

26. The Notebook

All Great Love Stories End in Untreatable Illnesses

27. Mary Poppins

If a Strange Homeless Woman Claiming to Have Magic Powers Comes to Your Door, Put Her in Charge of Your Children 

Boys, An Anthology is available for preorder on Amazon and iBooks here.