40 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

1. “Who are you texting?”

2. “Oh, I just assumed you’d pay.”

3. “I don’t think women are funny. Especially lesbians.”

4. “My Dad is my best friend. I’m looking for a partner that’s just like him.”

5. (total silence)

6. “You know, I don’t think I’m really over my ex.”

7. “I’m only looking for someone who can financially support me.”

8. “What I said wasn’t racist. I swear I’m not racist. I voted for Obama. We live in a post-racial society.”

9. “LOL.”

10. “A woman’s place is in the home.”

11. “No, we don’t have to leave a tip.”

12. “People say I’m conceited, but I just love myself.”

13. “Who’s Martin Scorsese?”

14. “Hey, wanna hear a funny rape joke?”

15. “I just want to fall in love with someone, right now.”

16. “Helvetica is too mainstream. I prefer Symbols.”

17. “You know what movie I feel like really got ‘it?’ The Blind Side.”

18. “I feel like you’d be way cuter if you just…”

19. “I don’t own a television.”

20. “I have a bad habit of changing for every person I date.”

21. “My exes say that I was too high-maintenance, but I think it’s just that they didn’t love me enough.”

22. “I’ve never dated someone less attractive than I am before.”

23. “My friends say I’m too clingy, but I just like to throw all of myself in a relationship.”

24. “Why would I move out of my parents’ house? I love it there!”

25. “If I don’t get married in the next year, I think I might die.”

26. “I’m really into Hitler.”

27. “How much money do you make?”

28. “Ugh, I always end up dating girls like you.”

29. “I feel like the media was too hard on Jerry Sandusky.”

30. “Would you mind if I live blogged this?”

31. “I think Mel Gibson had a real point about the Jews.”

32. “What are you thinking about?”

33. “I hate it when gays flaunt their sexuality in public.”

34. “I feel like no understands me.”

35. “I’m sorry. I just need to take this call for one second. I swear.”

36. “I don’t even know what feminists are complaining about.”

37. “If she didn’t want guys to harass her, she wouldn’t dress like that.”

38. “Wow, you’re kind of a slut. How many guys have you slept with?”

39. “What are you doing for the rest of your life?”

40. “I’ll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump.”