25 Painfully Relatable Truths About The Life Of An Online Journalist

Online Journalists are a ridiculous people that find meaning in what we do. We’re a community that grows more and more each day, and many are trailblazers for a new frontier of digital storytelling, who will decide what the future landscape of media will look like. Even so, we tend to find ourselves in odd and sometimes infuriating situations that are unique to the business we are in.

Here is a (very) short list of them.

1. Trying to write a catchy and clickable title

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2. Pitching stories

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3. Some people are just way too curious about my private life

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4. Negotiating your freelance rate with an editor

At First you’re like

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But then you’re like

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But, like, not really.

5. Trying to explain what it is you do to your parents

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No, Mom, I don’t work *for* the internet. Wait, but, do I?

6. Trying to figure out how each publisher’s content management system works, so you don’t screw everything up

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7. Every moment of your life is “Networking”

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8. Picking clips to put on your portfolio

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9. Spam comments!

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10. Negative Comments

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11. Emails from publicists

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12. “There is not enough available storage to take a photo”

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13. When a coffee shop doesn’t have reliable wifi

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14. Too many journalists live tweeting in one space that none of you can get them to send

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15. Your search history makes you look like a serial killer

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“how to get away with murder?”

“can you kill someone with sex?”

“how to buy cocaine?”

It’s cool though, Paul, the FBI agent who monitors me through my webcam, loves my stuff.

16. Trying to write another bio for each site that you write for

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17. When a celebrity or politician does something newsworthy at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning

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Really, Beyoncé? This 24 hour news cycle is a real bitch.

18. Computer freezes while writing

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19. All your friends who went into PR

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20. When your editor asks you to write something that will go “viral”

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21. When your editor thinks you’re their assistant and expects you to know how to answer their weird questions, like, what’s his ATM pin?

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22. When your editor doesn’t think your pitch has legs

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23. Having a proofreading ability that increases 1000% as soon as you hit “submit”

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24. When someone asks you what made you become a journalist

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25. That satisfying feeling you get when you file your latest piece

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LOL, yeah right.