Haikus For The Unemployed

I

Got really worked up
About a Gawker headline.
Then I took a nap.

II

Hey Mom, Dad. Listen.
It is not about money.
Well, maybe it is.

III

Barista knows me
By name. “Nate, you need to buy
Something or get out.”

IV

Finally settled
On title of my novel:
The Unchained Whisper.

V

What’s the deal with this
Health insurance thing every-
One’s talking about?

VI

Crying cats scream out.
Man, this is a weird movie
On channel fourteen.

VII

Ants have set up shop
In my kitchen. Will deal with
That sometime soon(ish).

VIII

The Unchained Whisper
Now has a first sentence: “It
Was a stormy night.”

IX

YouTube commenter
Says I need to get a life.
Fuck you, @TeenX_3.

X

Found wad of frozen
Meat in freezer. Daddy is
Having steak tonight!

XI

The guy at the gym
Needs to chill with his whole, “You’re
Not a member here.”

XII

Threw out my novel.
Characters weren’t developed.
Plus novels are long.