16 Reminders For When You’re Facing The Unimaginable

1. Emotions are there to be felt. So feel them. It sounds easy but we increasingly deny ourselves the chance to just be sad, in a society that places an increasing amount of pressure on people to ‘just be happy’. Allow yourself the space to be human.

2. Forgive.

3. Find happiness in the little, everyday moments (that aren’t so little). The way flowers curve towards the sun, the familiar warmth of a cup of coffee, brief moments of intimacy between friends.

4. Never give up hope. This will save you when nothing else can.

5. If you’re a writer, write, a painter, paint, a dreamer, dream. Create, create, create.

6. Be the person you wish you had/need (even if you already have them). You need to learn how to be there for yourself, to support yourself too. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d gift a stranger, the same compassion you would a lover, and the same patience you’d offer a friend.

7. Accept everything ( By far the hardest step).

8. Give yourself time. Nothing great was achieved overnight. Time, above all else, cures everything.

9. Understand there is no rule book, no guide, no ‘one-size-fits-all’ when moving on. You’ll have to learn how to heal in your own way, at your own pace. Considering your own needs. You may feel as though you do not always get this ‘right’ but so long as you’re trying, you cannot get it wrong.

10. Talk to people. You don’t have to see a psychologist, but words help. If you’re not ready to talk, journal. The important thing is to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head. They can bottle up in there and make you feel crazy.

11. Know no matter what you feel, you are not crazy. Sometimes what is considered ‘strange’, ‘unusual’ or ‘crazy’ behaviour by society’s standards, is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. Remember this.

12. Read a book in the sun. Dance. Take a whole day off to do absolutely nothing. Drink wine. Go on road trips. Lie outside at night and stare at the stars. Fall in love with life all over again.

13. Be selfish. Now is the time above all else to be selfish. Do what you want to do, for you. Stay far away from that which pains you in anyway. Turn down events you don’t want to go to. Choose what makes you happy.

14. Go outside. Feel the air in your lunges and your heart in your chest and know you’re still here. And as long as you’re still here, there’s still hope.

15. Find beauty in the unknown. Anything can happen now. This is a lot less scary than it sounds. Your story is still being written. You cannot change the past. But you can build a future.

16. Know it gets better. I promise you, it gets so much better.