Mike Zacchio

1. You Have One Picture.

“The thirst” is everything that is wrong with today’s logic in dating. “Oh, someone who likes you is showing you interest?!” Man, how desperate is that?

Sitting down for family dinners.

You see a pretty woman and you automatically look at her… hand.

She didn’t understand why I wanted to see her.

To help clarify any confusion for you, here are some examples of when you should definitely take a man at his word:

I dated a young woman with a child. After dating for two years, they moved. Exactly one year ago today — after over a year apart from the little girl — I flew down to see her. Here is the story.

Did I lock the doors?

In today’s world of fast-paced technology, mushy romantic-comedies and all-around impatience for, well, everything, many believe that if you haven’t found your soulmate by your mid-20s, you’re behind the curve and possibly destined to die alone.

Regardless of what you’re using it for — one-night stand, friends with benefits, relationship, etc. — Tinder serves its purpose for all parties involved.

I think that, in general, guys get the reputation of being pigs.

10:00 p.m. I’m right on time. “Previously, on Pretty Little Liars…”

Have you ever posted a Facebook status and then have someone ask you, call you or text you about it? “What was that all about?” “Is this about so-and-so?” “Are you OK?”

“It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.”

It helps immensely to come from a traditional family.

Everyone asks if you’re vegetarian “or something.”

Whether or not the marriage ends in divorce, it will be the only time she says, “I do.”

He doesn’t want to be “Facebook Official.”