Michael Solana

There is no way this guy doesn’t like you. Look at you. You’re a babe.

We’ll never learn from each other if we can’t speak without fear we’ll be attacked for saying a word that, for some unspecified reason, at some unspecified time, and from some unspecified arbitrator, was decided unfashionable.

Anywho, I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention at all, but we’re about to bomb another country! This one’s called Syria, and is also in the Middle East.

Here are 7 of the most culturally-defining things that Russia hates besides gay people.

The way I think about it is: if you’re into movies, for example, you should work at a movie theater. Then you can just go and see every movie that comes out before the rest of your friends, which is awesome.

Sometimes I ride around the block without my seatbelt on just to feel something. Today, I rode all the way to work without my seatbelt on. This is the farthest I’ve ever gone so criminally naked, and let me tell you something, internet: it was exhilarating.

7. ‘Privilege’ Is A Made Up Thing

How many among us have met a Marxist and wondered, with no real sense of how to approach this very important question, ‘should I date this Marxist?’

“Margaret Thatcher died,” he said. “Have you heard about the song? Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead?”

If you want to win your 20s, you must never fool yourself into believing that the world owes you something. You must decide what you want and hustle for it.

Here is the great lie about crushes, internet: we pretend that they are precursors to relationships, when in fact they are a major sign that the two persons involved will never be in one together.

I designed my own major in school despite being told that I had to make a choice between a) graduating with a ‘real degree’ and b) being unemployable.

My team was backpacking through a rainforest in New Zealand, and the weather was what might best be termed as “biblical.”

I looked at the guy on the couch in the room. Next to me. The no-longer-strictly stranger. He had a life. He was not just a guest star in mine.

Everything was different. Your carefully manicured life is interrupted by a storm.

But, of course, she was my mom and a woman and the thought of being taught to fight by my mom who was also a woman was basically mortifying to the point of pain. Like, I would rather have gone to school naked, or swallowed fire, or died.

Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl. Girl sort of likes Boy, but conceals that she’s not quite as interested because, who knows? She might be more into it one day, right? And life is complicated, and crazier things have happened, right?