Shake Shack Is [NOT] Crushing It Today, Honda Admits They F*cked Up, And Other Financial Stories Worth Reading (5/14/2015)

Will be updated periodically.

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Bloomberg.com
Bloomberg.com
Bloomberg.com

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Good news for people who watch the markets every freaking day (cough). Stocks opened higher today, giving everyone a boost to their morning. Fuck you, Wednesday!

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Honda is recalling around five million vehicles after internal examinations confirmed that the airbags (made by Japanese supplier Takata) deployed at irregular pressure. This comes one day after Nissan and Toyota announced recalls. Thankfully, Honda says none of the affected cars were sold in the United States.

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Moving corporate pension funds into bonds is not a new thing. Author James Moore says it’s just a waiting game; you know, to reduce risk and all that good stuff.

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The Raspberry Pi B+ has seen a price cut of $10! You can get this cool little gizmo at $25.

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Just 36.8% of women started small businesses last year, compared to around 63% of men. 45.9% of women believe they have the capabilities to be an entrepreneur, while 61% of men believe it. We know women can run businesses and be awesome at it, so let’s get more women entrepreneurs!

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Whoa, GM is dropping $1 billion to improve and upgrade their engineering and design facility in Warren, Michigan. GM is currently adding more white-collar jobs on a global scale right now. When are we getting flying cars, damnit?

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Are you in London right now? Well, IKEA is opening a popup cafe featuring napping stations accompanied by sleeping specialists to advise you how to sleep like a champ.

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Shake Shack’s reported earnings are making investors even more hungry. Sales grew 56%, adjusted profits up 97%… This is one successful burger company.

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Is the bullish Chinese market finally over? Is the market finally correcting itself? Is China doomed? What’s going on? Can someone tell us?

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Walmart is trying to compete with Amazon Prime, now offering unlimited free shipping for $50 a year — that’s 50% less than what a Amazon Prime membership costs! But will it help Walmart in the end? Bloomberg’s Renee Dudley and Spencer Soper think otherwise.

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Pedialyte says they have the answer to curing hangovers! Does this mean you should go out today, stock up on Pedialyte, get hammered and pass out with a jug of the children’s drink next to you? Actually, yes.

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Some clever hackers have been using Starbucks cards to steal your hard-earned cash. How did they do it? Well, it looks like once the hackers figure out your password, they change it and your username, purchase a gift card with the money you have on the card, wait for the auto-fill option to refill your card and then repeat the process.

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Are debt traders playing chicken with the Fed? Why are you taunting them? The market is calling bullshit on the Fed, and so traders are betting that rates won’t be increased this year. If rates are increased, stocks and bonds will probably end up Code Red and no one wants to see that.

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Welp. There’s no rate hike this summer. After the poor sales data from last month, the Fed is rethinking its strategy. Debt traders: 1, Rates: 0. (Did you get the joke?)

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Avon’s stock soared after a bogus SEC filing claimed they were getting bought out at $18.75 per share. There is no company on record that goes by the name of PTG Capital. What’s happened here?

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Marketers now believe Facebook will surpass Google when it comes to incremental ad dollars.

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Remember earlier in the week Verizon bought AOL for $4.4 billion? Well, looks like Tim Armstrong, the CEO of AOL, stands to gain just around $180 million from the acquisition. All he needs to do is wait around for a year.

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I think I need to revise the headline to read: Shake Shack loses all of its gains today as it heads below opening price.

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Whoa, the S&P 500 closed today, near record close.

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Last updated: 4:10 PM Thought Catalog Logo Mark