Michael Gursky

Many underestimate the daily joy a pet can bring to your life. I personally feel everyone should own one. Their adorable, mostly innocent selves make returning home after a long day all the more pleasing.

In the eyes of many men, the accessibility of free porn is a wonderful thing. It certainly serves its sticky purposes and provides great service to the pervert community. Porn has always slightly disturbed me, though, and probably not for the reasons you’re thinking.

I’m not ready for a loving and life-long commitment to someone. Relationships from the past left me with both charming memories and severe trauma.

A hefty percentage of users fall under a certain category, or can be grouped as a type. Seeing these same stock characters and accounts is what makes Instagram worthwhile.

Like most partially insane people, I had my Tinder days. Never again.

A short trip to the mall this afternoon led me to realize how frightened I am by musty, dimly-lit stores where their idea of customer service is, “Sup?”

You ever been in a social setting where you feel like an outcast weirdo who everybody’s secretly making fun of? That used to be me at all times, back before I became the life of the freakin’ party.

Every week I come across another laundry-list of articles about the ideal partner.

It’s quite an experience, you know, waking up everyday, peering over at the same psychotic person sleeping in nothing but a leopard-print thong and rainboots.

I have a rocky history, which can almost completely be attributed to drinking. I’ve come a very long way and am currently living wonderfully on a sober path.

Where do I go when I’m craving mediocre food and depressing atmosphere? Well, the diner of course! While some diners have their charm, others make me feel like I’m waiting for my daily pill handouts from Nurse Ratched.

If it wasn’t for sharp-witted words from insightful folks I probably would not even be here. Believe me when I say I’ve been through some extended rough patches. Life isn’t all flowers, hugs and tug j’s.