Michael Gursky

There are literally thousands of dirtballs on the site who post what they deem practical jokes, although I’m yet to see any actual pranks from these people.

Why just throw away a perfectly good dead rat? I thought to myself. This steaming carcass, with its bursting inners and fractured skull, could and should be used for comedy greatness. Immediately the master plan hit me.

Before the online dating scene came about, or at least before it was present in my life, I was making friends online.

You know who didn’t express concern or attempt to contact me? Literally everyone I know personally on a face-to-face level.

Why are we continually thrown derivative, relatable garbage that’s supposed to make us say, “So true!”

First off, what does the ghost do after he or she finishes sexing a horrified person? Light up a cig, chill for a second, and then get back to ghost activities? Perhaps deeply think their way into regret?

Hit up Dollar Tree.

She doesn’t laugh at your jokes.

“OPINIONS! From people who shouldn’t be allowed to have them.”

All I need is a banana and some pre-workout supplement to really set the pump off.

Many men underestimate the true challenge of hitting things off in the club.

Saved By The Bell offers delight for everyone. Whether you’re in high school or beyond, many of the show’s moments hit close to home.

Many underestimate the daily joy a pet can bring to your life. I personally feel everyone should own one. Their adorable, mostly innocent selves make returning home after a long day all the more pleasing.

In the eyes of many men, the accessibility of free porn is a wonderful thing. It certainly serves its sticky purposes and provides great service to the pervert community. Porn has always slightly disturbed me, though, and probably not for the reasons you’re thinking.

I’m not ready for a loving and life-long commitment to someone. Relationships from the past left me with both charming memories and severe trauma.

A hefty percentage of users fall under a certain category, or can be grouped as a type. Seeing these same stock characters and accounts is what makes Instagram worthwhile.

Like most partially insane people, I had my Tinder days. Never again.

A short trip to the mall this afternoon led me to realize how frightened I am by musty, dimly-lit stores where their idea of customer service is, “Sup?”