Melanie LaForce

Relish the Golden Age of the Scrub.

We can travel alone without guilt, we can die poor, and we can make lots of stupid decisions without worrying that it will impact some tiny human. It’s pretty great.

On Tuesdays, all women who purchase home goods such as vacuum cleaners and microwave ovens will receive half-off on Walmart’s exclusive “Lady Defender” Smith & Wesson 9mm in cotton candy pink.

Rosé is the Boone’s of adult ladyhood. But now, instead of barfing it up in a fraternity party basement, you’ll barf it up in the comfort of your very own over-mortgaged home.

When your alarm goes off, snooze 6-7 times.

3. Wow this house looks like it barfed Pinterest.

4. Funny – “Stop being weird.”

Since the debut of Robin Thicke’s infamously erotic Blurred Lines song and video earlier this summer, there has been mass amounts of media attention and a resounding feminist backlash.

Every-night-slumber-party-mania is a blast. Once you realize that most people in the world suck, you want to maximize your time with those few that don’t suck, particularly one that shares your newly-formed toilet DNA.

That picture of my boobs? I didn’t just take that for you. It was taken 6 months ago and sent to my entire roller derby team.