Date Someone Who Makes You Smile (Even When You’re Not In The Mood To)

The saying goes: It’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with. And it couldn’t be truer—as long as you’re with the right person.

Seek the person you want to be with no matter what, because being together is so much better than being apart. The one who makes your surroundings slip away because their presence is the only aspect of your surroundings that really counts. The one who inspires you to abandon your routine and all of your daily comforts in the name of togetherness because there’s nothing more comforting than the way you feel when they’re nearby. The one who makes swimming a thousand miles with a cramped leg, crossing the Sahara with a single canteen of water, or traipsing through a foreign land with $20 to your name sound like totally reasonable measures—if that’s what it takes to reunite. The one who spurs you to drop everything and ride a crazy late train into the city because you just can’t wait until morning to see them.

This person will make you smile in the least likely circumstances. You will be delayed for ten hours at the airport unexpectedly, but you’ll have the best time anyway, playing a game you invent on the spot using a rubber band and a piece of scrap paper before heading to the terminal bar, where you’ll drink several rounds of syrupy margaritas and gorge on soggy nachos until you’re kind of sick but also drunk—on alcohol, and each other. This person will make every leg of an unpleasant journey totally bearable, even pleasurable.

This person will push you to find happiness where you’ve long forgotten happiness exists, nudging the dormant pieces of your soul residing deep within.

They will move you to wake up at sunrise even if you’re not a morning person so you can tear off your clothes while running through the sand and skinny dip. They will motivate you to stay up long past midnight for a late night stroll even when you’re exhausted because one more hour of wakefulness together is always worth it. They will make you forget the pesky concerns that typically stop you from doing certain things—all those worries that filter your ability to truly embrace the world.

This is the person you need, because not all of life is actually all that fun unless you grab it by the horns and tame it as you go. Real life involves countless hurdles, big and small. But if you can tackle those obstacles head on—not just grit your teeth and bear the difficulties you’re destined to face, but approach them as good times waiting to be discovered—you will always be fine. The right person will help you see this.

Couples that know how to smile together in the least likely circumstances don’t have to rely on anything but each other.

Even when things go terribly wrong, all they have to do is feed off of their love. Nothing can stop them from finding the fun buried deep inside a pile of thorns, the never-ending depths of their bond an oxygen tank they can always draw upon.

They don’t need fancy hotel rooms. They don’t need big celebrations or elaborate feasts or good weather to enjoy themselves or to craft lasting memories. They don’t need a wifi connection or social media feeds to help pass the time. They take life as it comes—bliss, devastation, boredom, and all—because as long as they’re together, nothing else matters. At all.

There is so much power in loving someone with all of your heart and letting that love guide you day in and day out. So go find the person who helps you adjust the lens through which you see life’s darkest parts. When you do, you will feel automatically stronger. Better equipped to live. Better prepared to take risks. Better positioned to smile, even when it seems impossible.