12 Former ‘Ghosters’ On That One Special Girl Who Made Them Change Their Ways

1. “Six months ago, I met this girl who changed me forever by literally smashing my phone to bits. A week after we hooked up kinda randomly, we ran into each other at a bar. I’d ghosted her, of course, like I always did, figuring I could charm my way back in if I needed to. She walked right up to me that night and grabbed my phone right out of my pocket. Then she threw it on the ground and stomped on it and walked away. Sounds crazy, but it was the wake-up call I needed. Next day, I showed up at her apartment to apologize and she was nice enough to forgive me—after making me promise I’d never treat another woman that way again. To this day, I haven’t.”

— Derek, 30

2. “One day a few months back my little sister came home from school balling. I asked her what was up and she said this guy she’d been crushing on who’d been flirting with her non-stop suddenly stopped Snapping her back and refused to acknowledge her in the hallway—like it was nbd. I wanted to kill the bastard, but I also had to admit to myself that I’d done the same thing dozens of times over. My sister’s the reason I don’t do that shit anymore.”

— Nathan, 18

3. “This girl totally shamed me on social media after I ignored her texts for a few weeks straight. She took a screenshot of our initial back-and-forth from when I was still interested and being flirty and posted it to Facebook with a whole caption explaining how I’d ‘humped and dumped’ her. I was pissed at first but then I stepped back and really started to question my behavior. After thinking long and hard about how I’d acted, I realized that I’d pretty much asked for it. I ended up apologizing publicly through a comment on her post and then I asked her out. We’ve been dating seriously since—no nonsense, no games—and it feels really good.”

— Rex, 29

4. “When it comes to emotional intelligence, I was a fucking toddler throughout my twenties. But then I fell for this older woman at work—whip smart, hot, and talented, the whole package. I knew I had to up my game if I wanted a chance with her, so I matured by necessity. I set myself straight and put effort into wooing her, always careful to respond to her emails and texts in a timely fashion. It’s simple, really, being a good guy. You just have to sack up and think with your heart instead of your dick.”

— Eugene, 28

5. “I used to think being ‘a man’ meant not having any feelings, so I buried mine. That made ghosting women and treating them like crap pretty easy. But when I met the gorgeous brunette who would become my first long-term girlfriend, I immediately had all these feelings I couldn’t suppress. Around then, I realized that I knew nothing about women, and that I had a lot of work to do on myself. I started therapy and changed my outlook for good. I have a policy now that every single text gets answered. It’s about mutual respect.”

— Franklin, 28

6. “Guys like me love to pretend we don’t care about anything. But guess what? We’re insecure idiots. This girl I was sleeping with last summer told me that to my face one night because I didn’t answer her texts and we ended up at the same beach party. She had fire, and I’ll never get the opportunity to date her properly because I ruined it. No matter what, I’m grateful to her for inspiring me to change. ”

— Serguei, 26

7. “My grandmother of all people set me straight. She’s a little senile, so I didn’t think twice about talking to my buddies in front of her on the phone the way I talk to them in private. I was saying awful things about this one girl who’d given me the best bj of my life, bragging about how I hadn’t talked to her since, and suddenly grams opened her mouth and said: ‘You’re better than that, boy.’ I was totally dumbfounded. I mean, it was the first full sentence she’d spoken in months. Obviously, it made me think.”

— Lyle, 24

8. “Technology definitely connects us, but it disconnects us too. For so long I would just send texts without really thinking about the fact that someone on the other end would be reading them. I would click send on half-baked comments and offensive jokes like it was nothing. I ignored a whole bunch of girls I’d hooked up with, too. Honestly, I stopped because a girl ghosted ME, and being ignored was the most awful experience. I couldn’t believe I’d put so many people through that kind of hell.”

— Burton, 25

9. “I was a jerk for so long. It’s like I didn’t even understand that I was interacting with other humans or something. Then I met this girl in college who changed my entire perspective—on life and love. She told me straight up that I was an asshole who didn’t deserve her. And she was right. It took me six months, but I finally convinced her to give me another shot and we’ve been together five years now.”

— Taylor, 27

10. “About six months ago, I left my iphone on the table at a restaurant. I went back a few hours later to get it and a few of the waitresses were skimming through my texts. There were a bunch of unanswered ones from girls I’d hooked up with the last few months. When I asked for my phone, one of them—by far the most stunning—handed it to me without a word and muttered ‘fuckboy’ and then turned her back on me. Seeing myself through their eyes made me feel pretty lame, so I pledged to be a better guy starting right then.”

— Perry, 33

11. “At a certain point, every guy needs to snap the fuck out of it and own the fact that they’re just as vulnerable and human as the girls they’ve been misleading and mistreating. Sadly, I think it takes meeting a girl you can love to really get there for a lot of men. That’s what did it for me—good, old fashioned love. I’ll never be a dick to another woman as long as I live.”

— Max, 32

12. “I have to credit my mom for showing me what an egocentric bastard I was being. She picked up my phone one day thinking it was hers just as this slew of angry texts came through from a girl I’d blatantly ghosted. She was so horrified by what she read, and she made me call the girl up while she was standing there to say sorry. It was humiliating, but I get why she did it and I’m definitely not that guy anymore.”

— Casey, 23