25 Secretly Sexy Little Poems That Will Make You Horny In Five Seconds Flat

You know about acrostic poetry (when certain letters in a series of phrases spell out a word) from elementary school, but these short poems that put a naughty spin on innocent terms will delight you in ways you’d never expect from such a basic format.

Shutterstock, Subbotina Anna
Shutterstock, Subbotina Anna

1.

Cherish
His dick and
Unleash your
Ravishing
Cunt,
Honey.


2.

Particularly
Arousing, though more
Routine than
Exotic is the
Naughty act of
Titty
Sucking.


3.

Getting
Off, baby!
Desire anal?


4.

Pussies are
Rather
Addictive and
Yummy.


5.

Teasing
Excites
Me, so
Pretend I’m not
Letting you
Eat me out.


6.

Masturbating.
Offended?
Mount me, then.


7.

Dirty sex is
Always
Dignified


8.

Fucking is an
Art form, a
Rare
Talent, really.


9.

Cock hungry,
Are you?
Not to worry.
Another round of
Dick sucking is
Always welcome.


10.

Bumping uglies
Over and
Over.
Give it to me
Every day,
Repeatedly, baby.


11.

Penis is my
Oasis.
Oh boy! Yes!
Pussy’s happy.


12.

Hump me
Eternally.
A woman’s
Vagina is
Enigmatic but
Never disappointing.


13.

Caressing
Others is
Ordinary.
Kinky
Intercourse
Excites me.


14.

Sex is
My main
Interest so
Let me
Enter you already.


15.

Come
Loudly through
Oral, or
Under me,
Doggy style.


16.

Finger yourself and
Lick, then
Order me to do the same.
Whoopee is
Exquisite when you’re
Randy.


17.

Porn is
Explicitly
Awesome.
Carnal
Euphoria, really.


18.

Voluptuous
Overall.
My penis says:
Instantly
Thrilled.


19.

Seduce me
Totally.
Undress me and
Discover my body.
Yack later, ok?


20.

People in
Utopia
Penetrate
Perpetually,
You beast.


21.

Cuddling
Up is
Playful,
Coming is
Amazing, and
Kissing is never
Ever enough.


22.

Snuggle me
Until I’m
Naked.


23.

Men who
Orgasm
Often are
Nicer.


24.

Ladies
Are
Undulating while
Guys are getting
Harder.


25.

Tantalize me, you
Animal.
X-ray vision tells me
Everything about your
Sexy body. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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