50 Questions We All Wanted To Ask During Sex-Ed (But Were Way Too Embarrassed To)

1. What is an orgasm supposed to feel like, exactly?

2. Is it normal to wake up humping your pillow?

3. If incest is so bad for the human race, why am I having crazy vivid sex dreams about my mom/dad/brother/sister?

4. If a woman masturbates with a dildo and/or a vibrator too much, does it make her insensitive to regular penises?

5. Why is it called a blowjob if there’s literally no blowing involved?

6. What’s the big difference if a woman spits or swallows?

7. Is semen a form of protein, or is the whole “human protein shake” a bullshit excuse guys use to get women to swallow?

8. How many calories are there in the typical “serving” of male ejaculate?

9. Can a guy sprain his dick from jerking off too much? If so, how does he fix it?

10. Are you really still a virgin if you let a guy in through the “back door”?

11. If my 15-year-old boyfriend and I are sexually active, are we statutory raping each other?

12. Is it legal for a woman to auction off her virginity? What’s the going rate for an intact hymen these days?

13. If a woman has a lot of sex over the years, does her vagina necessarily get looser?

14. Do kegel exercises actually work? And does it help if a woman starts doing them early, for preventative reasons?

15. What do you do if a guy can’t keep it up (aside from dump him)?

16. How do you milk a man’s prostate?

17. How much does the average penis grow between its soft and hard states?

18. What’s so satisfying to a man about coming on a woman’s face?

19. Can a man’s penis really get stuck inside a woman? If so, how do you make sure that never happens?

20. What do guys do when they have an erection and they really need to pee?

21. Should I be worried about how much (and/or the type of) porn my boyfriend watches?

22. Does it mean I’m homosexual or bisexual if I get turned on by gay porn?

23. Why do girls have separate holes for peeing and sex if guys do it all through one hole?

24. Does having anal sex ever make people poop unexpectedly?

25. Does it count as bestiality if a dog licks peanut butter off your private parts?

26. Why isn’t there any way to know whether or not a guy is still a virgin?

27. Does a boner necessarily indicate that a man’s sexually aroused? (Cause I’ve noticed some boners at really weird times.)

28. What do guys get out of the whole homoerotic circle jerk thing?

29. Is either sex more likely to cheat than the other?

30. If a woman gets breast implants, do her nipples become less sensitive?

31. If a guy fingers a woman with dirty hands, can she get a yeast infection?

32. Can you get genital herpes through oral sex with someone who has a cold sore?

33. What does it feel like to have something swinging between your legs at all times?

34. If a woman gets an abortion, is it harder for her to get pregnant eventually?

35. Can a guy’s balls get stuck inside him?

36. How do you know if a woman has really orgasmed, or if she’s faking it?

37. Can people actually climax just by “thinking off”?

38. Is there any chance whatsoever of getting pregnant from oral sex?

39. If a guy comes inside a woman when she’s on her period, can she get pregnant?

40. Do you really have to take the pill every day at the same exact time for it to work right?

41. Does oral sex count as sex, or not?

42. How do you get a crooked or J-shaped penis inside a woman? And is there any way to straighten them out?

43. Is there really such a thing as female ejaculation, or “squirting”?

44. How do you tell someone exactly what you want in bed without sounding like an asshole, or a slut?

45. Is it weird that I want to fuck someone I definitely hate?

46. Is there any safe treatment for enlarging a man’s penis?

47. Why is there no Viagra for women?

48. Why do guys get “morning wood”?

49. How exactly do penises defy gravity?

50. If we’re not biologically programmed to be monogamous, why does having sex with more partners increase your risk of contracting an STD? Isn’t that totally unfair of Mother Nature?