Megan Boyle

Nicolas Cage ardently fought for what would become Salma Hayek’s ultimately forgettable performance as fiery Mexican painter, Frida Kahlo – hand-delivering the director one self-portrait in the style of Kahlo per day.

Be open about your personal life, but do not accidentally tell the story of how you drank two bottles of wine and awoke on the kitchen floor to the smell of burning noodles on the stove.

I don’t remember when I began saying I was allergic to honeydew melon, but I know it was a long time ago. Honeydew melon seems like an appealingly quirky thing to have an allergic reaction to. My dad is allergic to honeydew melon. One time my throat itched a little after eating it. Stopped lying about this last year.

A vague relationship basically feels like a real relationship, only it’s harder to tell when it’s okay to cuddle. Vague relationships can last anywhere from 0 to 8 years, but are usually just a few months long. You can have a vague relationship with your co-worker, your friend, your friend’s brother, your brother’s friend, your co-worker’s brother, your brother’s co-worker, your friend’s brother’s co-worker, or your brother’s co-worker’s friend – but not your brother.

Kyle was the most attractive guy at a Halloween party this year so we had sex in the basement. Unfortunately it was the basement of a girl who didn’t know that people have sex at parties sometimes, and had a little sister who screamed, “get out of my house!”