9 Reasons You Don’t Need To Try To Be The Envy Of Other People

1. Because making other people jealous should never be your primary motivation. It should never be your main goal, or even your secondary goal, for that matter. You have to be focused on the task at hand (whatever that is), and be committed to what you’re doing, as opposed to worrying about how other people will react to what you’re doing. If you’re more worried about what your ex or your competitive coworker thinks of what you’re doing than what you’re actually doing, what’s the point?

2. It will bring you fleeting gratification, but won’t actually satisfy you. Will making someone else feel jealous momentarily make you feel good? Yes. Of course. It makes you feel superior and validated, but there is rarely depth behind that feeling. It’s not lasting; it’s just a quick fix to a potentially bigger issue that’s bothering you.

3. There is too little to be gained by trying to be the envy of other people. Because again, gratification that’s immediate rarely lasts (especially in this context). You will end up putting a lot of effort into making others feel jealous, but then after riding that high, still might not feel fulfilled.

4. It takes more energy than it’s worth to make your life look perfect. And you need to know that your energy is better spent on other things. It’s worth remembering that making your life look amazing on Instagram will never prove that your life is actually picture perfect.

5. Making other people feel less than isn’t guaranteed to make you feel more valuable. And there are other things that you can do with your time that WILL make you more confident and will help you realize your value and how much you have to offer. Push yourself to have patience, and ask yourself if your time is being spent on something you want to be doing, or something you’re doing because of how it will look.

6.The best way to feel like you “won” isn’t trying to top someone else. It’s not caring what they’re up to because you’re so damn busy killing it. “Winning” the break up doesn’t require a new S.O. to make your ex feel jealous; it just requires you to DO YOU and love it. Leaving a job doesn’t mandate that you post about your new, desirable job all over Facebook, all you need to do is throw yourself into great new projects you’re passionate about, and be so invested that you forget about your old job. Focusing on yourself and building your worth IS enviable, so if you’re actually doing that, you don’t have to worry if people are seeing it or not.

7. Life isn’t a competition. It isn’t a race to various finish lines. That’s not how milestones work at all, in fact. You don’t need to be the first to do something – make more money, get a great job, find a relationship, get married, have children – just because you’ll be the envy of other people. Milestones aren’t about accruing likes on a Facebook photo.

8. Your need to make other people jealous comes from the fact that other people have purposely tried to make you jealous. You don’t want to be on their level, though. You want to get to the point where you realize that envy and jealous is just noise that doesn’t matter; it’s just an unnecessary distraction.

9. You need to be happy with your accomplishments and your life without needing to show off to anyone else. You need to be happy without anyone else’s validation. Proving yourself to an ex or a former boss or an ex-friend isn’t as good as proving to yourself that you can fucking do it.