Why #AllLivesMatter Makes Absolutely No Sense

#AllLivesMatter you tell me. Well, of course all fucking lives matter. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Lily-white suburban lives have always mattered. It’s African-American lives and Hispanic lives and women’s lives and gay lives that we toss away like they’re used banana peels.

We need an #AllLivesMatter movement like we need a Heterosexual Pride Day or a Men’s Rights Movement. We have the rights. We’ve always had the rights. What we don’t have the right to do is to claim that we’re fucking being oppressed now that those who have been truly oppressed and marginalized and raped and murdered for hundreds of years are only now being allowed a small taste of the rights and human dignity that we, the privileged, have always enjoyed.

I have an idea. Let’s start a bunch of other nonsensical movements. Why is it fair to have an Animal Rights Movement and not a Human Flesh Rights Movement? Human beings don’t want to be murdered and consumed for food any more than animals do. Let’s end the atrocity of human flesh consumption. Don’t human lives matter?

How about starting a No Adult Abuse Movement in response to the No Child Abuse Movement? It’s not right for children to abuse adults, is it? It’s only fair that adults have their own movement, right?

Now, these are stupid ideas, aren’t they? Yes, they fucking are. There is no problem of human flesh consumption or adults being sexually, physically and emotionally abused by children. Just like there is no problem of white people being murdered, over and over and over again, on an almost daily basis, by the people in this country who are supposed to be protecting them. Just like there is no problem with the suppression of men’s rights or heterosexual rights.

So when you say to me #AllLivesMatter, what you are really saying is that only your life matters and you don’t give a flying fuck about anybody else.