Matthew Farris

Remember Your Social Skills! I don’t know about you, but the MOST AWKWARD thing to me, whether I’m on a date or just trying to spark the interest of someone, is when I feel like I am guiding the entire conversation.

She could post my picture near churches and schools with a caption below it that simply reads “Caution: Sex Offender on the loose. Please keep all small cats and dogs indoors after dusk.”

Don’t try that machismo bullshit. Let her know you might be over sensitive to some things. Let her know if you may need extra reassurance, or a little more understanding than most. There’s nothing that is truly more appealing to a woman than a guy who isn’t afraid to be open, who understands himself, and is willing to let her in.

Why bother? Why bother trying to make something work that’s clearly been damaged? Because being damaged doesn’t mean irreparable.

She makes being awkward an adorable thing.

Do not ignore her friends.

Friendship? That’s not going to do it justice. We’re partners. Brothers even, cut from the same cloth and we’ve been inseparable since the day I was born. We got a bond homie, there’s no denying that.

I’m starting to seriously wonder if I’m the problem, if we as a gender are the problem, and we make these otherwise normal girls go bananas.

If you’re young enough, sexually active enough, and pay even a diminutive amount of attention to pop culture you’ve heard this aphorism: If a key opens many locks it is a master key. However, if a lock is opened by many keys, it is a shitty lock.

I realized there are so many lost souls, all looking for love but dealing just fine without it.

For the most part, we all have at least one. At least one person whose memory is so deeply embedded in our psyche that they invade more thoughts than they should on a daily basis.

Buying a house? Hahaha, I can barely afford house whiskey.