Matt Powers

When people feel threatened by your confidence, they’ll do anything and everything to knock you down a peg. This was never clearer to me than it was last weekend, when my former best friend Kevin threw his 26th birthday party….

My grandpa and his 10 siblings are first-generation Americans who grew up dirt-poor on a farm in Torrance, California. His parents came from Mexico legally.

This was hardly an isolated incident; thousands of young men and women have taken to the streets – cameras in hand – to protest against the New York State Psychiatry Association.

Voice mail: why are we still doing this? You can bet your sweet ass I’m not listening to it. In fact, I almost don’t even want to call you back.

Your boss gives everyone the day off, runs shirtless through the sprinklers, gets fired, and you get promoted.

I needed to see their pain and sorrow, feel them clutching to their humanity so I could forgive them, but — unfortunately — I never gave myself that chance.

I smoke to put my mind into stasis
I need to erase us
I need to wash my sheets of your traces until your memory is faceless

2. Don’t let her establish an inside joke.

Why do I call on Feminists? Because according to a loophole, ISIS believes if a woman kills them, they wont go to heaven and receive 72 virgins, but rather will burn in hell for eternity.

Do antidepressants really work? The jury is still out on this.

What really turns guys on? I didn’t ask eight guys for the answer. Here’s what they didn’t really say.

Part of me thinks I’ll never love someone as much as I loved you, because I didn’t know what I was doing, I’d never felt it before so I dove in. I never told you, though. I never said, “I love you,” because I wasn’t sure if you loved me back until you told me with tears in your eyes that you didn’t, and you were sorry.

1. Panic Attacks

The Academy Awards are right around the corner and I’m sure theaters will rerelease some of the nominees. Lucky for you, I’ve ranked them in descending order so you don’t waste your time.

No one ever tells you what it’s like to be alone. One day it happens and we adjust to solitude as a right of passage. Days spent lying on the grass and weekends spent lying to our parents replaced by evenings spent distracting or drowning a restless mind into complacency.

1. Kim Kardashian

That whole time she was only going to the gym with me because I unknowingly made her self-conscious, because she thought I was judging her physique when in my heart of hearts I wasn’t.

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