Mary McMahon

You are allowed only a certain amount time on this earth, so why not spend it with the people that make you your best self?

There are three kinds of people in the world. People who believe in soulmates, people who absolutely do not, and people like me: the uncertain ones, the skeptics.

People will find any excuse to drink. In the wise words of Kendrick Lamar, “Pour up, drank, head shot, drank. Sit down, drank, stand up, drank. Pass out, drank, wake up, drank. Faded, drank, faded, drank.”

Love doesn’t care if you break your balance and fall. Love survives on the idea of you falling over and over and over again.

Dance. Dance like no one is watching because, quite literally, no one is. You are alone. ALL ALONE.

You can’t just love someone simply because they are available and willing to love every single piece of you.

Memories never forget. Memories make up who you are. But you can’t let your past seep into your future and ruin any prospect of happiness that you have.

You decide to see what Tinder or Bumble is like in the suburbs and then immediately regret it when you accidentally swipe right on your old high school gym teacher.

You and I are not “options.” We are people.

Secretly, you wonder if you’re emotionally unvailable because you are exhausted from loving too hard and loving too much with too many wrong people.

Because our breasts get in the way of the microphone, and having them slam into the mic stand is not only painful, but also dangerous.

Even if the cold weather gives us permanent “resting bitch face,” we are some of the friendliest girls around.