What is it that really separates “a bit of fun” from “girlfriend material”?

What is it that men notice that makes a select few women stand out as keepers?

It’s probably not what you think.

Here’s the unedited truth about the top 10 things men really notice about you.

Whether you have a life you love

Men really notice whether you like your life.

It’s basically what determines if we want to become a part of it.

From how passionately you talk about it to how content you seem in it, from the moment we’ve met you, we’re noticing how you view your own existence. The more you seem to love it, the more we think we’ll love it too.

How you treat people you don’t know

A self-absorbed woman is easy to spot – her treatment of others is roughly proportional to what they can do for her, and we sense it in every interaction we see her in.

Occasionally though, men meet a woman who moves about the world with a default level of respect for others that is as honorable as it is attractive. From cashiers to wait staff, taxi drivers to a homeless person in the street, they treat everyone with the same respect and interest they would show for someone they care about.

You can literally watch – almost in slow motion – as the people they interact with sense their genuineness and warm to them, like butter on toast. It’s a rare thing to find, and when we spot it, we want to bring it home to mum.

Whether you can make fun of yourself

Does anything show confidence more than the ability to make fun of yourself?

A woman who can laugh at herself shows she doesn’t take him, or herself, too seriously. If you trip up (figuratively or literally) and can make fun of yourself for it, you communicate a level of self-worth that men rarely come across.

This applies to all forms of communication, too. Take texting. If you want to turn us on, send us a pic of you in lingerie. To impress us, send us a pic of you making a screwed up face and asking us how beautiful you are.

Whether you offer to pay for yourself

Are you a down to earth girl, who considers herself our equal?

Or are you up in the clouds with entitlement?

One of the easiest ways to tell is if you offer to pay for yourself.

Just as you might judge a man who doesn’t offer to pay for you, men notice women who think they are entitled to a free ride by virtue of their gender.

Most gentlemen will decline your offer and foot the bill. But it doesn’t mean we didn’t notice it. We did.

It shows you’re investing in the date, too. It shows you’re as keen to impress us as we are to impress you. And it shows you’re a woman who’s independent and in control of her world.
You might think it’s unfair we’d read so much into something so small, but it speaks volumes to your intent and the way you see yourself. Its absence is impossible to ignore.

How much you rely on your looks

We liked what we saw – you know that from the fact we’re on a date with you. But the importance of your looks begins to decrease from the first moment you talk to us. From then onwards, we’ve started to weigh up how much more there is to you.

If you’ve stacked on the makeup and have little else to offer, sex (if things get that far) is as far as our animalistic programming will take the relationship. If you show up trusting in yourself, rather than your looks, you will peak our interest – big time.

Being presentable is important – as it is for him – but a guy can sense what you believe is your trump card.

Whether you have opinions

There is nothing sexier than certainty. If you want to him to respect you and see you as an equal (which, if you want to be more than a booty call, you do) then you need to have opinions.

Don’t be that woman who comes across bland, who answers “I don’t know” or “I don’t really mind” or “never thought about it” to everything. It’s tempting, because it doesn’t risk breaking rapport. The problem is, it’s an attempt to keep rapport based on connection, rather than attraction.

When you find something you disagree on and stick by it, you challenge him. You make him think. You force him onto his toes. Disagreeable? Perhaps. Challenging? Yep. Potential Girlfriend? Absolutely.

Whether you have an agenda for us

There’s a difference between a woman on a date to get to know us and see where it might lead, versus a woman whose mind is already three dates and commitment ahead. Men aren’t great people readers, but we can read this.

If we get a sense in the first couple of dates that, despite you hardly knowing us, you’ve already sold yourself on commitment, it’s an A+ turnoff.

Whether you can outwit us

Any woman who can run us around the proverbial wit playground is irresistible. Why? She clearly doesn’t put us on a pedestal; she’s challenging, and she must be comfortable being herself. All these communicate true confidence and belief in her own value.

Win or lose, simply by playing the game, you’ve shown you’re girlfriend material.

How you fare when left alone

It’s not that we will wander away for the sake of it, but sooner or later, a situation will emerge where we need to leave you alone, and we’re watching what happens next.

We can either come back to find you making a great impression and mingling positively, or awkwardly keeping to yourself in the corner. It’s a chance either to impress the hell out of us or leave us questioning whether you’re not such a good fit for our life.

What your relationships with other women are like

Don’t underestimate how much we notice your relationships with females and what other women think of you. It speaks volumes about your loyalty and trustworthiness as a girlfriend.

There’s nothing that sets off alarm bells more than if your girlfriends don’t seem loyal or if you tell us, “I don’t have female friends because they’re too much drama.” Most women are obsessed with what men think of them, so it’s rare and refreshing to find a woman with other priorities. If it’s hard to get you on a date because you’re constantly out with the girls or if you have a couple of close friends we believe would take a bullet for you, we know we’ve found a keeper.