Why Girls Don’t Care If Guys Hate High-Waisted Shorts

The past few months my newsfeed has been overloaded with articles entitled, “Why Girls Should Stop Wearing High-Waisted Shorts,” or “The 12 Reasons Guys Hate Girls Who Wear Peplum Tops” Yeah, Hi I don’t give a shit what you think of my outfit because guess what? I don’t dress myself based on what makes you sexually aroused. I actually get up in the morning and put on what I LIKE simply because I LIKE IT. The funniest part about this is guys actually think we take their opinion into consideration on this. There are a lot of things I think about with men in mind, but when it comes to how I dress myself, absolutely not. So the influx of articles and bullet-ed lists about why we should stop dressing a certain way is not only a waste of your time it is also not going to work.

SO here’s a list of all the reasons I LOVE MY HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS and every other thing I decide to drape my skin in.

High-waisted Shorts:

They are awesome because if you eat a lot or drink a lot of beer, it hides your food baby. Whereas, low rise shorts or jeans emphasize the carb fest brewing in my stomach from last night’s late night munchies. I don’t care that it “takes away from my ass and makes it look like I’m wearing a diaper.” First of all, I don’t have an ass so I didn’t care about that in the first place. If someone isn’t going to talk to me because of my flat butt then they should probably just get deported. You don’t like it? Leave. Second of all, yes, I see where you think it could possibly resemble some type of looseness in the back. BUT I LIKE IT. It’s breezy and comfortable and sorry that you’re all stuck wearing your sad, last season khakis and have a sweaty scrotum. I like my breezy butt shorts. It also looks chic AF paired with a bralette, so bye.

Peplum Tops:

When I wear these kind of tops I have been referred to as a “ballerina” and a “pixie.” I never took ballet because I couldn’t sit still, and last I was aware I am not able to perform magical actions, so no I am not actually a pixie or ballerina because I wear this top. Peplum tops flare out on the sides and look perfect with skinny jeans or a tight skirt. If you think it looks bad, you are 100% not up to date on any type of fashion trend and also you clearly missed this year’s fashion week when every other model was seen and photographed for thousands of publications wearing these kinds of tops. So you saying you hate our tops just screams that you have no idea how to dress yourself and that you actually don’t know what’s cool. So saying to not wear these tops means you want us to be basic ass bitches? No thanks, but you can try with someone shopping at Sears.

Lipstick:

It would be one thing if you didn’t like the lipstick because you were trying to avoid a clown-style face when we made out, but to say it just looks bad, you know nada. Any well-dressed girl knows that a nude or bright colored lipstick can make or break an outfit. It ties it all together. Guys say that it makes us look like “hookers.” Really? Does it really make me look like a prostitute? Interesting, because when I’m sitting inside a club and not outside on a street corner in my underwear I really don’t feel like a hooker. Women my age have been turning to the color red as the most popular lip color and if guys knew anything then they WOULD KNOW that red is scientifically proven to attract men. So us wearing the lipstick is actually turning you on without you even knowing it.

It’s a shame that you’d rather look at girls in yoga pants, which is the most basic bitch item you can own, instead of appreciating women who are creative and up to date on the latest in the fashion world. This only means you’re unoriginal and have low standards, give yourself a pat on the back, you’re super lame. Maybe invest more time in becoming well-versed in all things worldly, yes fashion is a worldwide topic, rather than spending your time making weak arguments against our outfits that we will never be listening to, just laughing at them. So excuse me while I go put on my high-waisted shorts.