11 Reasons Why People With High Emotional Intelligence Are The Best People To Fall In Love With

1. They can meet you where you are.

Sometimes your biggest fear in falling for someone is that you aren’t quite ready, or that there’s something holding you back (an ex, a broken past, a nervousness, etc.) from experiencing real love. With emotionally intelligent people, it doesn’t matter if you’re timid about getting to know them or hesitant about starting a relationship. They know that you may be on a different page, but they are comfortable accepting and meeting you right where you are. They want to (and will) show you that no matter what doubts are spinning in your head—they’re not leaving.

2. They don’t shy away from true feelings.

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t going to play games. They’re not going to be into you one day, and distant the next. They aren’t going to let you halfway in, and then run. They’re not going to mess with your heart. Instead, they’re going to be honest. They’re going to express themselves and show you what they’re thinking and feeling, even if it’s scary. Because they have a high emotional intelligence, they can discern what’s in their heart and show that to you, beautifully and fearlessly.

3. They are self-aware.

Emotionally intelligent people know who they are, they have a grasp on their thoughts and feelings, and they are comfortable with sharing and opening all parts of themselves to you. This is powerful in a relationship because it shows you that you are truly invited into their souls. It also shows you that you are allowed, and entitled to your own self outside of the relationship. Their self-awareness and identity encourages you to be independent and embrace your feelings, just as they do.

4. They are understanding and empathetic.

More than anything, you want to be understood. That’s why emotionally intelligent people make the best lovers—they are incredibly empathetic. No matter what you’re going through, an emotionally intelligent person will make sure to take on your emotions, to ask questions, to dig deeper, and to really be there when you need a shoulder, a friend, a confidant, a support system, or a partner.

5. They are good listeners.

This goes hand-in-hand with their empathetic nature. Emotionally intelligent people will listen. They won’t interrupt, they won’t tell you what to do, they won’t try to brush off your feelings or disregard your story by telling their own. Instead, they will be patient. They will hear you out and wait until you’re finished venting, crying, thinking aloud, to give you consoling, advice, love or sometimes, simply their supportive silence.

6. They feel deeply, but also have a handle on their thoughts and emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people feel. They feel deeply. But that doesn’t mean they’re overwhelming or chaotic. The fact that they feel things on a fuller level only means their hearts are into their relationships—they will fight fiercely with and for you. But on the flip side, they won’t lose control. They are aware and able to make sense of their emotions in a way that keeps your relationship, and both of your well beings, sound and stable.

7. They will ensure you never go through pain alone.

With emotionally intelligent people, your feelings will never go unnoticed and your thoughts will never be unheard. No matter how catastrophic or tiny your problems, fears, anxieties, or heartache may be, emotionally intelligent partners will stand by your side. They will take on your pain with you. They will make sure you never feel alone.

8. They will be emotionally supportive, but not to the point that they lose themselves.

Though emotionally intelligent people will be there for you, no questions asked, they won’t internalize your pain to the point that it breaks them down. Because they are intelligent when it comes to feelings, they can distinguish between pain and support and be able to help you through what you’re going through without losing who they are or what they think and feel.

9. They can communicate well.

Emotionally intelligent people have no problems when it comes to communication. They are able to articulate what’s going on in their minds, they are willing to talk and have confrontations (even if they aren’t easy), and they are interested in getting closer with you, which means understanding where your head is.

10. They are comfortable with vulnerability and openness.

Along the same lines as communication, emotionally intelligent people crave vulnerability. They want to peel back the layers and get to know someone beyond the surface, and they long to be understood in that same, deep way. They know that a relationship thrives on letting one another in, and they will make that happen with you by showing you their true selves all the time.

11. They aren’t scared to love.

Emotionally intelligent people make the best lovers because falling in love doesn’t scare them. They are ready and willing to step forward with you, to trust, to feel. And this fearlessness when it comes to letting someone in is both beautiful, and contagious.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.