I Will Love You In Your Darkness

I will love you on the days you don’t want to want to wake up. When your room is cast with grey shadows, when the blinds are pulled tight, when there’s no music on your radio and cobwebs gather in the corners by the door.

I will be the voice that softly pulls you from sleep, opens the windows and lets the sun fall gently on your face. I will be the laughter on the other end of the telephone, telling you an old joke from an old memory. I will be the hands that rest on your face, kiss your cheeks, hold you close when you’re crying so hard you can hardly catch your breath.

I will love you on the days you don’t want to continue. When you’re staring at a blank wall, motionless and silent. When you’ve crumpled your dreams like little scraps of paper on the floor. When you’re defeated, letting your hopelessness take the reins.

I will be the shoulder for your weary head to rest, telling you stories until you fall asleep. I will be the body that helps to lift the weight from you to me. I will be the silence when you have no words to speak, but just to sit next to you in comfort, reminding you that I’m here.

I will love you when you don’t want to love yourself. When you’ve written a list of flaws in the folds of your mind. When you recite them back to yourself, over and over again, making you paralyzed in doubt. When you no longer know who you are and cannot remember who you’ve been.

I will remind you.

I will show you pictures of the times we danced like fools, when we threw our heads back and laughed, when time ceased to matter because we were together and life was infinite. I will be the hands that hold yours, the lips that speak of better days, the promises I won’t break—I’ll stay.

I will love you when you forget why you’re here. When your body shuffles through your days, empty and lifeless. When you push me away because you don’t want me to see you so broken. When our relationship no longer feels the same because you’re scared to let me in.

I will show you that some people are here to stay. And with every push, I’ll pull closer. With every step away, I’ll draw nearer to you. I will remind you of your purpose, of the way you love, of the person you are—to me, to the world. I won’t stop reminding you that you matter. And that I’m so thankful for you.

I will love you in your darkness. When each day seems longer than the next. When you can’t shake the discouragement from your shoulders. When you finally decide to reach for help because you simply cannot face this on your own.

I will not fear you or treat you differently. I will not stand in judgment of you, or see you as any less. I will be there for you like I’ve always been, side by side in happiness and humility, simply blessed to be a part of your life.

And I will love you in your triumph. When you rise from this pain, open your heart, turn your face to the light, and begin again. When you realize that you are powerful, and have always been. When you push this pain to the past and allow yourself to feel, to grow, to move forward.

No matter where this life takes us, I will love you in all forms.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.