10 Super Annoying Questions You Get When You Live In Your College Town After Graduation

1. “You’re still here?”

Yes. I’m still here. Alive. Breathing. Working. Being productive.

2. “Wait, what are you doing here?”

I have a job…blah blah. (They’ve stopped listening.)

3. “So what year are you again?”

Ah, what a gem of a question. (Especially if you’re like me, and look like a high schooler.) No, um, I actually was a senior last year. No. No, I’m not kidding.

4. “Coming to the party at ___’s tonight?”

Eh….probably not. Okay, maybe.

5. “Didn’t you, like, already graduate?”

Yea…last year. (Followed up with #1)

6. “Do you…actually live here?”

No, I thought I’d drive here to get some groceries… (stale face). Yes, I actually live here. Which would explain why you’re seeing me at the grocery store. Getting groceries. To eat. For dinner. In my house. Where I live.

7. “Where are you from again?”

I’m never really sure what this means. Like home-home? Or here-home? I’ll go with home-home. (Followed by #5. And probably #2).

8. “What are you still doing here?”

This question is similar to #2, but for the blunter, no-filter type of interrogators. Your response? Bore them to death with an in-depth rundown of your job description as payback. Hey, they asked.

9. “Woah, I never thought I’d see you again.”

If the person is creepy and/or this is not a pleasant run-in, respond with: “Yeah….so weird.” If the person is nice or potential dating material: “Me either! We should…hang out soon?!” Then stand there nervously, waiting for a reply.

10. “Wait, how old are you?”

Stale face. (This is usually followed up by #5.) Actually I’m 22 and it’s so great to see you again. A$$hole.
 

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, Somewhere on a Highway, available here.