Maria Monrovia

My cousin looked down in the canal and say a really nice jacket floating along and being a weird scavenger person decided to reach in to fish it out. Well, the jacket turned over. And so did the man wearing it. He also had no face left.

“Women who can definitely kick my ass but wouldn’t because they’re nice.”

“Guards can and will withhold medical treatment.”

“I have a regular with a Mickey/Donald role play fetish.”

Don’t expect someone to just know what you want. Tell them.

Fishing out the pube from your mouth after going down on someone.

“I realized I had always had these underlying assumptions that people of other races were ‘different’ than me. And then I realized they aren’t.”

It’s okay to make mistakes. We are all human and are not perfect.

“This guy walks in and is immediately jumped by 4 dudes. One guy takes out the metal strip to a safety razor and precedes to cut this dude’s fucking ear off.”

Talking shit about mutual friends when they’re not around.

“I invited her over to hang out. She was already outside my place waiting for the call.”

Bragging about how being an asshole is just “who you are.”