Maria Monrovia

“Losing friends. Also gaining a lot of weight I’m now having a hard time getting rid of. Eat healthy, kids.”

We jumped into the ocean and let the tides carry us in opposite directions, and neither of us dared to fight them. But I should have swam. I should have drowned trying.

“I wanted both things, and I was a selfish, immature shit. I’ve never regretted anything more than hurting my partner like that.”

Add succulents and other cheap plants to make the room the room look more put-together.

“His apartment smelled like olives.”

“I’m not really over my ex and you’re definitely a rebound.”

We’re good friends, but he’s fun to flirt with. Something always changes a little whenever we both happen to be single. Is that a crush or just an inevitability?

How they’ll ask a girl for their number and then never actually use it.

Straightening your posture (if you’re having trouble, yoga and posture braces can do wonders).

There’s no such thing as “winning” an argument — if you can’t come to an agreement that satisfies everyone, you’ve both lost.

If you want someone to tell you more about something, stay quiet — they’ll usually fill the silence by giving you more information.

“I was being watched on the woods, it was the strangest feeling.”

“As per my previous email…”

When a Pisces and a Capricorn fall in love, neither may even notice until it’s too late — it happens slowly, and then all at once.

Weekly (or daily) coffee runs.

“We thought there were 4 of us kids. Actually there are 13.”

Walked in on my grandma’s body. She was murdered in her house and I went there to help her prepare for Mother’s Day which was going to be the following day.

“Am I dying, or is this my birthday?”