Maria Monrovia

You may have heard Kim Kardashian and Cara Delevingne talk about their own experiences with it, but they aren’t alone.

“The Tamam Shud case. Unknown body found on an Australian beach. No sign of foul play or drowning and had a strange coded message in his pocket.”

Had a dude once come through, jumped a bloody mile in the air when I scared him. He just stopped with this far off look and said “I just shit myself.”

‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.’
Just go to school, Ferris.

“She was kidnapped in Mexico and he refused to pay ransom.”

“I dropped my goggles and was trying to reach down in the river and grab it but I pulled out a sheep skull by its sockets.”

“‘I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream’ gave me nightmares.”

Everyone’s been in a creepy situation at least once in their life, but how many of us can say that we’ve quite literally stumbled into a serial killer’s secret lair?

“We were planning a threesome as a surprise for you and decided to test it first.”

Watch YouTube tutorials to learn a new skill.

“I think that the meaning of life is searching for the meaning of life itself.”

Volunteer for something you believe in. Guaranteed people with similar values around, automatic conversation starter, and worst case scenario, you make the world a little bit better.

My cousin looked down in the canal and say a really nice jacket floating along and being a weird scavenger person decided to reach in to fish it out. Well, the jacket turned over. And so did the man wearing it. He also had no face left.

“Women who can definitely kick my ass but wouldn’t because they’re nice.”

“Guards can and will withhold medical treatment.”

“I have a regular with a Mickey/Donald role play fetish.”

Don’t expect someone to just know what you want. Tell them.

Fishing out the pube from your mouth after going down on someone.