The 4 Sexting Do’s and Dont’s

Sexting is an absolute phenomenon. It has swept the digital world, taken it completely by storm. It’s the latest and greatest form of dirty talk. If you’re not face-to-face, cheek-to-cheek, or… well… you get the picture… then media of communication is the next best thing. First came the telephone, then the computer, then the videocamera, and now the cell; the take-away lesson from all this is that whatever you give people, clearly they’ll try and get dirty with it. But what do you do if you’re just not that kind of girl?

Sexting has been around for a while now, but only lately has it practically become expected when a relationship between two people begins to grow intimate. Sending somebody a photograph of your naked body sounds, at first, strange, not because the nude body is strange (it’s not, it’s fabulous), but because the level of trust required to send a naked photograph of yourself through cyberspace to somebody else’s personal handheld device is absolutely through the roof. Taking technology for granted is one thing, but trusting somebody with your entire physical self is very much another. Because here’s the thing about relationships that these people don’t seem to understand: they end.

For all of you optimists out there who are tutting at me and telling yourselves otherwise, don’t make me cite last year’s divorce statistics. The cold, hard fact of the matter is that every relationship in your life as you know it will come to an end at some point. People grow apart, they change, they foster different interests and priorities, and those are just a few significant things that come between friends over the span of a lifetime. Lovers? Well, we all know a thing or two about how fragile those relationships can be. Betrayal, cuckolding, fighting. All of those soap-opera-y feelings of rage and vengeance you experience when the object of your affection and desire has wronged you. Feelings that basically turn you into a walking, talking, texting Greek tragedy. These feelings cloud one’s judgement, and make one do regrettable things like, for instance, sharing that naked photograph you sent them a few months back by putting it on the Web, out there for the world to see. So next time you feel inclined to send that nudie photo, think it over. When passions are running high, is a dick-pic really the quick fix?

Regardless of the fact that sexting is somewhat dangerous — threatening to one’s reputation, one’s professional life, one’s personal life (should I go on?) — it’s also a sore spot for some ladies and dudes out there. Not everybody likes to get down like that. Sometimes, the real thing is worth the wait. But for those of you who are dating impatient people with an affinity for iPhone cameras and their own genitals, here are a few tips you can use as you navigate the digital world.

1. It’s late, he’s frisky, and begins to try coaxing a nude selfie out of you.

DON’T: Tell him you’ve eaten a lot of peanut butter and cheese today, that the bloating is taking hold, and so maybe another day?
DO: Tell him you’re worth the wait.

2. When you receive one of those notorious “dick-pics”…

DON’T: call him in a blind rage, scream FILTHY! FILTHY! and then never speak to him again.
DO: send him a provocative yet coy text response. Also, praise it. Ladies. Gents. You know what I’m talking about.

3. You two will be playing the long game: long distance, that is. You’re going on vacation, you won’t see him for a month or more, and you’re worried he’ll look elsewhere for gratification.

DON’T: Send him a dirty picture just because you’re worried he’ll stray. If he’s into you, he won’t.
DO: Voice your concerns if you feel compelled to. Talk it out. Tell him there’s always good old-fashioned voice-on-voice.

4. You’re going on vacation, you won’t see him for a month or two, and HE TELLS YOU he’s worried he’ll look elsewhere for gratification IF you don’t comply with his photographic demands.

DON’T: Send him that nudie pic.
DO: Drop his ass. Nobody you’re intimate with should pressure you or make you feel inadequate.