Madison Moore

It’s amazing that not even a year ago, when Apple’s magical iPad first slid down from the heavens, comedians around the world chimed in about the unfortunately named device. Nobody cared about the technology or what it did.

Couture-gate comes on the heels of a video released just yesterday of a group of people taunting the designer at a Paris café,  slaming the couturier with more allegations of anti-Semitism. In the clip, a calm Galliano is obviously wasted, slurring his way through insults such as “Your bag is ugly” and “I love Hitler.”

Lenny Kravitz’ loud new single “Come On Get It” hit the airwaves last week, and if you really listen, you’ll hear how raw it sounds against the whining and crooning all the other male pop singers do. This serious hard-funk joint, equal parts Sly Stone, James Brown, and Jimi Hendrix, pries open mid-sentence with a roaring saxophone and pulsating guitars.

So you’re kind of on the verge of going up to the machine and just typing in all the stuff for him because, at this point, you have all the screens and selections memorized. In order. You don’t even read them, really, you just punch in the info before the machine asks for it because you’ve done this so many times.

Lady Gaga’s latest magnum opus hit the airwaves today and the Internet did not collapse, thankfully. But after playing the thing on repeat over the past few hours, I’m a little disappointed. Only a little, though!

Not one to miss out on all the action, this week Sprint unveiled its latest smartphone at a swanky press conference in New York. Their new device — the Kyocera Echo — is a 3.5-inch Android phone, which will run Android 2.2 (Froyo), 1GB of internal memory, and work like a Wi-Fi hotspot. The little dude comes with both a 5-megapixel camera and a 720p HD camcorder, so you can record your sex tapes in high definition.

Next is a message from white4latinoass that, admittedly, isn’t that creative a screen name and I’m not that into racial stereotyping so I’m already put off. Read his profile. Dude’s into crystal meth and that kind of freaks me out so I don’t say anything back. Bro gets exed out.

Basically you just wasted a whole day on that one apartment. Call your parents. Tell them getting an apartment is like trying to get accepted to Harvard. Ask them—plead— can you just buy me a place? Forget it. Call your best friend Max, tell him what happened. He’s like, Bro, you gotta use a broker.

Then there were the Screen Tests, those beautiful, constantly moving cinematic portraits of Andy’s favorite people. Edie Sedgwick was there. Lou Reed and Allan Ginsberg, too. Baby Jane Holzer brushed her teeth over and over for us, an erotic gesture in its own way.

Are you a dude who thinks regular underwear don’t do your package justice? Tired of going to the gym and doing that thing where the frame of your johnson just doesn’t peek enough through the fabric of your gym shorts/sweats, making it harder and harder for you to flirt with that girl you always see on the treadmill?

Dyson Kilodavis is a young Lady Gaga 5 year old kid who wears women’s clothes and, specifically,  dresses like a princess. Doesn’t that sound fun!  The “Princess Boy” came to America’s attention this week due to his appearance on a number of talk shows, where he wore a series of fabulous tutus, sequins and other bedazzled items.

Get admitted to Harvard College before any of your non-black friends. They don’t get into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton, are stuck with Washington University (a much lesser school). Tell you it’s all your fault. They were National Merit Scholars. They did community activism in Botswana. They got a perfect score on the SATs. They went Le Rosey in Switzerland but then transferred to Dalton (a $250,000 education).

In a massive thud heard around the world,  Paris Vogue editor-in-chief (and my idol) Carine Roitfeld announced that she’s leaving the magazine. It’s not that she’s going to another magazine or anything (yet!), but more that she’s kind of totally over magazines. “I have no plan at all,” she said. “It’s ten years that I’m editor of the magazine.

There’s a new show on Logo, the gay channel, and it’s so much better than that hot mess The A-List, a show I can’t fucking stand but must watch every week. It’s called 1 Girl, 5 Gays, and it’s like 5 gay dudes locked in a room with a lone straight chick (hot) who asks the dudes a bevy of questions about love and sex. Anything goes, people!

I love me some RiRi, but I’m sorry — the bitch can’t sing live, and no amount of reverb can cover it up! In the last week I’ve see her perform that red hot single “Only Girl (In the World)” on Saturday Night Live and at the European Music Awards. Both times, her red headed ass was flat, missing practically every note in the song. And there are only like four notes MAX in the whole thing!!

Most people outside academia are totally unaware of what professors go through to get a single course approved. There are probably a million fabulous pop culture-savvy course proposals out there that get squashed every semester.

Bored follows the same formula as other 30-minute HBO cult-hits like Entourage and Sex and the City — a group of oddball friends from different backgrounds who stick together no matter what. No matter how many dudes Samantha slept with, or how many times Mr. Big came back, no matter how loud Ari screams, and no matter what Jonathan Ames does, everybody’s always cool with everybody at the end of the day.

“Whip My Hair” opens in a sterile, all white cafeteria with everybody wearing the same outfits. Y-A-W-N. But! In comes Little Miss Willow to save the day with her bedazzled eyes, lips, and nails and a gigantesque heart shaped braid pouring out of her head.