This Is The Type Of Girl Boss You’d Be, According To Your Zodiac Sign
"This boss guilts you into every fun run for charity regardless of season. She'll have you doing a 5k in January if it means a little more money for the Humane Society."
1. Aquarius
Let’s start with this, “closed door policy.” An Aquarius boss needs time alone, a lot of time alone. As a result, deadlines go ignored until they’ve arrived which is great for employees in the short term but not so great for an Aquarius boss’s stress level once she emerges from her den-like office and asks for a progress report.
Oh, and this boss guilts you into every fun run for charity regardless of season. She’ll have you doing a 5k in January if it means a little more money for the Humane Society.
2. Pisces
A Pisces boss is wonderful. She makes sure no one gets bullied, she shuts down mouthy co-workers who think they know everything, she feels the pain of the people working under her. She tries to keep it all on an even keel…until you question literally any aspect of any decision she’s ever made. Then the teeth are bare and she’ll cross her arms and ask “what do you mean by that?”
You’ll be fine as long as you trick other people into pointing out problems and then hide in the break room until it’s over.
3. Aries
Aries is the boss that jumps of the plane first but she absolutely expects you to jump off the plane right after her. She’s inspiring, and truly “has it all” and mysteriously never gains weight no matter how much she eats possibly because she’s as high energy as a hummingbird and never stops moving.
She keeps weights on her desk at work. They’re 20 pounders. She doesn’t mess around.
4. Taurus
A mixed bag, she will never fire you and she will never admit to making any mistakes. You will stay at this job far longer than you should have and realize once you leave that you’ve gotten less experience than you’d thought.
However, she will bring in vegetables from her garden during the Spring, Summer, and Fall and you can have as many as you want.
5. Gemini
The good thing is that a Gemini boss is one of the few bosses that talks to people because she likes them. She won’t engage in destructive office gossip and she’s uninterested in getting one over on other people.
However, she’s also the last to the office every day and has to have an assistant tell her when and where she has to do everything. She is the boss that calls IT three times a week because she can’t be bothered to remember her computer’s password and thinks nothing of it.
6. Cancer
A Cancer boss is an enigma. You will work with them for years and still have no idea what part of the city they live in or anything about their family because a Cancer hates telling anyone anything personal. And while her seeming sympathy for her employees is sincere you can absolutely bet she’ll bring up that emergency family leave you had to take two years ago whenever she needs you to stay late for work.
7. Leo
“Boss” is the perfect term for a Leo already but once they’re actually given a position of power they will absolutely use it. Leo’s have big ideas and can get their employees to buy into these big, world changing ideas quickly through a mixture of passion, trips to the bar, and mild bullying. Then, once the ball is rolling they will literally lose interest and barely put in any effort. Someone else will end up having to take over the project until it’s successful…at which point upper management will give the Leo all the credit and the cycle will begin all over again.
8. Virgo
Virgo is the boss that has five pets and has filled her office with framed pictures of them. Where others have family portraits, she has a photo of her dogs all piled together on the couch together with two cats who look very unhappy with being posed. Somehow, her immaculate house won’t have an ounce of pet hair anywhere in sight.
When she doesn’t understand something she won’t say so which means you’ll be doing a lot of deadline presentations to catch her up on the things she wasn’t willing to admit she didn’t understand in the first place.
She’s not a great boss but there are worse.
9. Libra
Libra is the ultimate team player. She’s not afraid to get down in the weeds and do the real work that she asks of others and leads by example without even meaning to. It’s effortless for her.
However, she also doesn’t command the respect of say an Aries or a Leo who can often inspire fear or intimidation in their employees and she doesn’t understand why. This can sometimes mean Libra can get picked on by her own employees and since Libra’s hate confrontation she’ll just get HR to quietly fire them and take a day off to recover emotionally.
10. Scorpio
Get used to hearing the term “real talk” because that’s what your Scorpio boss is going to say to you every time they’re rude, nosey, or just plain wrong. Scorpio bosses have a lot of strengths, especially if you’re in their inner circle, but they’ll also get drunk and flirt with your husband at the company holiday party and screw the hunky intern without a second thought because “feelings.”
However, if you’ve got an in with a Scorpio boss then you’re in forever.
11. Sagittarius
Your Sagittarius boss will be a blast to be around in the office. They’ll be current and even their jokes will seem entirely timeless. They’re great with people and can life morale at the drop of a hat. The problem comes when you realize that the Sagittarius boss is only an idea person and expects you to carry out their ideas, no matter how impossible, immediately and perfectly while they go on vacation for a month to Hawaii.
12. Capricorn
A Capricorn boss isn’t so much a tough boss as they are a terrifying boss. While they’re even keeled when left to their own devices and oh so competent, they will expect everyone else to be idiots. This means they’ll constantly be looking over your shoulder and nitpicking every little move you make which, as we all know, causes mistakes. Good luck explaining to them how they’re management style is actually causing you to make the very mistakes they’re criticizing.
Oh, and she’ll be all up in your personal life too. A Capricorn boss will give you marital advice you don’t need, a primer on why your clothes aren’t good enough, and a psychological analysis of your handwriting all without being asked. The advice is free but the frustration lasts an entire career.