Luis Pabon

Every day, I sit and watch my ideas come to the table and gradually disintegrate under intense scrutiny and suspicion. This is a table I now refer to as “a place where ideas come to die”. It is a table that resembles Black American life.

Truth is this: People come and go. You may have some people in your life who are occasional friends, only good for “certain occasions”, but overall, you are your own multi-purpose friend.

Your friends are supposed to be your lifeline, your port in the storm, your healing. They are supposed to grant you peace, not be the architects of your agony.

Forgiving yourself means understanding that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.

You are always the one that has to do all the calling, all the texting, all the reaching out.

How they discuss their last breakup can be a window of insight into their readiness to invest in you. 

Your life demands a certain level of prudence and caution and it demands that you not settle for less just to avoid loneliness.

I realize that I oftentimes built relationships with people based on my desperation and not my destination.

Truth is, it’s hard having to be your own safety net and having to catch yourself at every turn.

After coming face to face with these realizations, I emerged a stronger, wiser and better man.

By traditional standards, I would be considered beautiful.

Every part of me wants to call you and ask how you are doing and really mean it.

In a healthy relationship, our goal is to make our partners feel like they are valued, respected, cherished, wanted and loved.

Foolishly I spent my twenties haphazardly giving my love and assistance to the wrong people.

It has more to do with another person’s unresolved issues, hurts, wounds, fears and past experiences. It speaks more to them not being at a place in their lives where they feel secure and good about themselves.

Stop giving package deals to men who only deserve happy meals.

Where people invest their time, energy and RESOURCES is where they invest their heart.

Loving yourself enough involves rediscovering and refining who you are. It involves bringing yourself with you where ever you go and never leaving yourself home.