Having autism is a challenge. It’s a hard-fought battle. It’s one of the toughest disabilities anyone can go through.

My sister once asked me and continues to ask me, “What’s it like having autism?”

I don’t know where to begin or how to answer that.

In fact, there could be more than one answer. She can’t even imagine what I go through every day of my life. I know I overcame a lot having it and I’ve done very well for myself having it but there are days I wish I didn’t have it and those are the days I say having autism is just too hard.

What’s so hard about having autism?

1. Dating

Some days it’s due to me being single. I wish I didn’t have autism so it’d be a bit easier to find a girlfriend. I know that’s something that’s not easy to begin with but it’s one of the toughest things an individual with autism has to go through. You have no idea what I’ve been through in the dating world even though it’s gotten better. Every time I don’t get a second date, I get discouraged and I think, “My time for marriage will never come. I’m hopeless. I should enjoy and get used to single life forever.” My confidence has boosted, but I still struggle with meeting people. However, I know my time (and the right woman) will come.

2. Going to Bars

I wish I didn’t have autism so I’d like going to bars better. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to drink beer or shots with my friends. But I don’t have many friends who like to drink, and that’s a struggle.

3. College

I did go to a community college and graduated. However, some days I wish I was able to go to a university and make friends in the process. I know there are individuals with autism who go to a four-year university. I wasn’t one of them which bothered me greatly. One reason was that I didn’t take SAT’s in high school. I didn’t take SAT’s because I had trouble with Math and Reading Comprehension. The other was a community college being hard enough. I didn’t want to transfer to a four-year university to pursue getting a bachelor’s degree.

4. Employment

Some days Autism is difficult due to the types of jobs I’m capable of working. I often wish I was able to work full-time instead of part-time, but I failed at two attempts to work full-time which discouraged me. My inability to work full-time is still one of the hardest parts of my life with autism. Even though I have a job and support myself to make ends meet, I still feel autism is hard because of employment.

5. Living on my Own

Living independently is rare for people with autism. I’m lucky I’m able to live on my own, but some days, I worry that I’m not going to make it through without help. Taking care of my finances, maintaining my eating habits, and keeping my apartment shining clean can be difficult. Those are the days I think having autism is just too hard. But when I remember how far I come, how independent I am, and how successfully I conquer every obstacle, in my life with Autism, I realize how blessed I truly am, and all of the hardships seem worth the successes.

I have autism. I didn’t ask to have it and I didn’t want to have it. But I have it and I have to make the best of it. I have to be blessed because my life could be worse. Shania Twain said I was fine and seemed to accept me when I was on that stage despite having autism. Not everyone with autism meets their favorite singer so I need to be proud of that as well. But there are some days having autism is just too hard. But tomorrow is a new day and I still expect to have a good life.

Life isn’t fair, having autism isn’t fair, but this is who I am and what I have. Autism is what makes me ME.