Lisa Woods

“You know that feeling after you finish to some questionable porn? That times 1000.”

Take a deep breath, you can get through these.

“The most intense feeling of being flirted with I’ve ever had was with a woman who was out on the dance floor and looking at me while I sat at a table on the sidelines. Went on for a good ten minutes and by the time she came over to speak to me I would have done anything she asked.”

“Finally building up the courage and then getting shot down sucks pretty hard.”

“What’s up with ‘shrinkage’?”

“Through all the lies and the self destructive behavior, you realize you’re actually doing a drug. Habitual cheating is exactly like drug use. It benefits no one but you and your selfish needs. Then when you get off of it, you’re always one step away from relapse.”

“If it’s a dick that I really find attractive, attached to a guy who knows what he’s doing I want to suck it for hours. Even longer if it’s a guy who’s vocal and shows the pleasure he’s receiving through squirms and moans and shudders.”

“Six years later we are 1000 times happier than we were before he cheated. It brought us closer.”

Even when a relationship recovers, men who’ve been cheated on are never the same.

He fucked my life and set me back years–money I could’ve saved, time with other people or working on school or jobs. He knew he was ruining my future and didn’t care. I know they’ve all told everyone I’m a crazy, spiteful bitch.

“I want to be treated like a person. Not a prize. Not some code that needs to be cracked. Not like a goddess. Not like a whore. A person.”

“I am still disgusted with myself over this and have never told a soul but here it goes…”

“Just women who like to take control. Not bondage, but where they know what they want and will take it. If this includes certain, um, strapped on things or not is cool with me.”

At, work, for whatever reason, when I first started I told a girl that I was married…I was never married…It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring….The whole hospital thinks I’m a husband…

Want to be good in bed? Here’s how to teach him something he’ll never forget.

That it’s not supposed to hurt. I learned well into my 20’s that when a woman is aroused, her cervix will move up and out of the way.

“I love her ass. I want to do all sorts of things to it…one of those things is put my tongue on it and get her to make them happy noises.”

“I read more gay male erotica than I watch gay porn, but what I noticed most about gay porn compared to straight porn is it’s much more sensual–at least what I’ve seen. A lot more kissing, a lot more heavy make outs, and it seems like they both actually enjoy it.”