Lisa Woods

“That I’m 100% straight.”

“The tiny little tells – the shifts in her voice, how the muscles in her back tense, how she slightly moves her hips to push her clit against my fingers, the face she makes.”

The annoying white girl is middle to upper class who has no clearly definable struggle or problems in their lives. This can lead to them finding the tiniest problems and self righteously speaking about them as if other people are the problem. Or making small problems to be much more important than they are.

This girl had to cancel our plans one night, so the next day she suggested that we go to a haunted house. That’s the only time I can remember being asked out to anything other just dinner.

Girls who laugh in a way that suggests mental instability. The most attractive girl I ever knew shook and laughed until every molecule of air in her body was expelled. She sounded like an albatross being forced through a cheese grater, and I loved her for it.

The last one I heard was that “women tell you how you feel or assume how you feel rather than listening to you and what you actually want”.

He is my best friend, my knight in shining armor, my superhero and also my sidekick. He alone has been there for me no matter what happens and has supported me in whatever I do, even if he doesn’t agree. When we argue, he always puts my happiness and our relationship before being ‘right’ or ‘winning.’

“When the memories mean more to you than the person standing in front of you.”

There’s always one relationship that effects you so deeply that you can simply never forget it.

“I don’t look like a typical geeky person probably because I love fashion so much so I think guys don’t even try approaching me. Also I get scared when guys I find attractive talk to me. I just ignore them so I come off as rude.”

“Someone who values others over herself.”

“I want someone to kiss me like they’re drowning and I’m air. I want them to touch me with reverence. I want them to look into my eyes while we make love and tell me afterwards how they changed color. I want them to hold me like I’m some precious, delicate thing, but fuck me with the wild abandon of a man who’s finally able to lose control, and unleash himself.”

“Embrace the glorious mess that you are.”

“My wife turned out to be extremely food jealous. If I am eating something that looks and tastes better than what she is eating, she gets pretty upset if I don’t offer her any.”

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

“No way am I going down on you! Vaginas are GROSS!”

Yet, he was surprised when I never spoke to him again…

I’m very much pro-choice, but I could never have an abortion myself. I’m also 30-something with a house and a very good salary, so more than able to care for a kid. I’ve always wanted kids anyway, so I decided to keep it. I told him as much, and that he was free to be involved or not, but I didn’t need his money.

“When she talks herself down and won’t accept your arguments to convince her otherwise. Or when she has to have everybody’s attention all the time at all cost.”