Lisa Woods

“Just women who like to take control. Not bondage, but where they know what they want and will take it. If this includes certain, um, strapped on things or not is cool with me.”

At, work, for whatever reason, when I first started I told a girl that I was married…I was never married…It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring….The whole hospital thinks I’m a husband…

Want to be good in bed? Here’s how to teach him something he’ll never forget.

That it’s not supposed to hurt. I learned well into my 20’s that when a woman is aroused, her cervix will move up and out of the way.

“I love her ass. I want to do all sorts of things to it…one of those things is put my tongue on it and get her to make them happy noises.”

“I read more gay male erotica than I watch gay porn, but what I noticed most about gay porn compared to straight porn is it’s much more sensual–at least what I’ve seen. A lot more kissing, a lot more heavy make outs, and it seems like they both actually enjoy it.”

These notes from mom will have you laughing and crying and picking up the phone.

My ex did this thing once where he buried his nose in the already wet fabric of my thong, where it rested on my clit, took a deep breath in, and just went “oh god” on a ragged breath. He then proceeded to devour me.

“It’s never how it was before.”

“You’re better than you think you are, please believe that.”

“He shut down Times Square to propose to her.”

These people are filthy…and they love it.