13 Women Share The Essential Secrets To Making A Relationship Last

1.

“True love is having your own bathroom and a clawfoot tub.”

—Jamie, 27

2.

“People say honesty but that’s an oversimplification. You don’t have to tell your bae every single fleeting thought or annoyance that goes through your head. Like, keep some stuff for yourself. I once dated a guy who would tell me immediately if he was annoyed with me and it was usually his own fault. He also used to tell me every time we were out and he saw a girl he thought was cute.

Like, dude, keep that voice in your head.”

—Catherine, 23

3.

“They should be sexually secure. I need a vibrator to get mine and when I finally met my bf of three years and he was cool with me using it during sex it really took our intimacy to the next level. Before that, all the guys I’d dated had basically been like ‘if I can’t make you cum then you don’t get to.’ Not literally, but basically that’s how it ended up.”

—Alex, 25

4.

“Not being prideful and judgmental. An example is doing free stuff together when you’re young. I lived with a boy in my 20s who felt like ‘free’ was beneath him. As a result, we pretty much never went out because we were so broke. He was so prideful about it and acted like people who did little fun free things were peasants but somehow his broke ass was not a peasant.

Pride and judgment can really come between people. Last I heard, that dude was still single.”

—Mary, 29

5.

“Just love them, seriously. Tell them you love them. Take their face in your hands and say the words. Tell them you believe in them. Life is hard and your partner should be your sanctuary. They need to be told that they are.”

—Annie, 30

6.

“A big thing for me was learning not to take my boyfriend’s moods so personally. For some reason, I used to have it in my head that they had to be happy all the time and if they weren’t then it was up to me. I can’t tell you how many little fights I started worrying about a temporary bad mood. Everyone gets in a bad mood and most of the time they can get themselves out of it and just need a little time and space.”

— Nikki, 25

7.

“True love is a man who will clean. I know that’s kind of a cliche thing to mention but I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve dated who simply Did. Not. Clean. Then, when I had to say something to them it made me into this mommy/boss figure that I really am not. Guys, help around the house.

A relationship is a team effort so, please, care.”

— Bea, 28

8.

“Acceptance is a big one. There are always things that couples don’t like about one another and if you can’t accept those things and learn to make them a part of your life with that person then you’re not going to last. Really, there’s a lot of ego subversion involved in loving someone and being with them.”

— Kalie, 31

9.

“Keep dating. My husband and I have one date night a month and we strive to make it feel as free and new as possible, something to break our routine and get us out of our comfort zone.

Last month we went to laser tag and got hot dogs. It may seem basic but it’s not something I ever would have done otherwise and it was a truly hilarious experience.”

— Jennifer, 26

10.

“Couples need to have rituals they do for each other. It can literally be anything as long as it’s meaningful. My boyfriend leaves little notes in places where I won’t find them immediately and it really does feel special every time I find one.”

— Andi, 22

11.

“They need to actually be your friend and you have to be able to count on them to be able to be that person when you have something on your heart you just need help with. Many of my friends haven’t had relationships last because, in the end, the person they were seeing didn’t know how to be a friend.”

— Natalie, 28

12.

“Seriously, Doug, I’m going to need you to like my Insta posts.”

— Dee, 21

13.

“A man who’s kind is really my biggest need and I think it’s underrated. It inspires me to be a better person and a relationship where the person you love also inspires you makes for a relationship full of warm feelings. It’s a little hard to explain but it also makes everything you do for that person that much more meaningful.”

— Hazel, 25