1. “I’ve actually been in four threesomes. Three were with two bisexual men (one was my man at the time) and one was with a boyfriend who was straight and a mutual friend of ours. I’m personally open to it (obvs) but in my experience it works better with bisexual men. The threesome with my straight ex was reeeeeeally awkward because he was intimidated by our partner despite it being my boyfriend’s idea. I don’t blame him now and I didn’t blame him at the time but it became an elephant in the room in that particular relationship.”

—Janice, 32

2. “My college boyfriend wanted to have a threesome with me and my bestie at the time but it was too much for me and I’m not really into women at all. When I said no he said I was ‘repressed’ and then just a few weeks later I caught him cheating which shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. Dude was just a dog trying to get laid as often as possible.”

—Cindy, 28

3. “To be perfectly honest, I’m really not into the idea and if a boyfriend seriously suggested it rather than just saying something he thought was dirty or whatever then I’d give serious thought to whether my relationship with him was going anywhere.”

—Michelle, 25

4. “I’m not into other girls so much but I actually have fantasized about being with my boyfriend and another man before. I’d be open to it as long as I knew the guy and found him attractive.”

—Zoe, 23

5. “I’m only into the idea of a threesome if I’m the third person with a couple and they’re strangers I don’t ever have to see again but I wouldn’t want to have one with the guy I care about.”

—Sadie, 26

6. “Not that my boyfriend would ever ask me this but I don’t want anyone in our sexy times that isn’t either him or me. I’m not into other people or I’d be with them and this isn’t a fantasy either of us have ever had.”

—Katherine, 22

7. “Aren’t threesomes things that boring couples do try to compensate for how boring they are and spice up their lame sex lives by trying to introduce someone who isn’t boring? I’d say no and I’d dump him for too boring to figure out how to be satisfied with me.”

—Ella, 27

8. “I’m straight, my boyfriend is straight too. If he wanted a threesome with another woman then I’d assume he just wanted to have sex with another woman. If he wanted to have a threesome with a man then I’d assume he had been secretly gay or bisexual the entire two years we’ve been dating. Both of these possibilities would be deal breakers for me.”

—Aria, 26

9. “While I find the idea of being the center of attention for two hot guys awesome I’m not sure I think the reality would play out like the fantasy. My boyfriend and I are exclusive and I guarantee he wouldn’t be into sharing me with another man although might be open to a girl. Problem is, I’m not into girls.”

—Madison, 25

10. “My boyfriend knows I’m bisexual with a preference for men but he’s also one of those rare guys who isn’t turned on by the thought of a hot girl on girl make out session. So, while I’d be cool with it if only to feel another woman’s body again I doubt that he’d be into it since there’s nothing in it for him. Honestly, that’s fine with me. Everybody has their own preferences and boundaries and you have to respect them.”

—Madelyn, 23

11. “I’m bisexual and had a threesome with two guys (both good friends) in college on a lark when we were all drunk one night. The guys spent the entire time struggling to get hard in front of each other until we just sort of gave up. Talking with one of them later, he felt too vulnerable and I think some of that had to do with there being a size difference (it didn’t matter to me). Years later, after telling a boyfriend that I’d once had a threesome he suggested we have one with another girl which I was into but after going through all the issues that can come up re jealousy and stuff he begged off. Threesomes are best in casual relationships or for dedicated swingers imo.”

—Sophia, 30

12. “As a woman who only dates casually or is in open relationships I’d probably be fine with this if it was the right person. It would probably need to be with someone I was crushing on though, not some rando from Craigslist.”

—Grace, 25

13. “Had a threesome with a very serious boyfriend years ago that included another guy (at my boyfriend’s request) and it ended up that my boyfriend then had his first experience with another dude which was not something we’d talked about beforehand. Long story short, boyfriend was gay or bi with a pref for men. We broke up. Tears. Would not do again with anyone.”

—Lucy, 29

14. “My boyfriend right after college wanted to have a threeway with me and one of my friends at the time. When I asked him why he didn’t have a good answer and it was transparent that he wanted to recreate some kind of porno scenario since he barely knew my friend. At that point I felt like he was objectifying both of us and I quit seeing him. In retrospect he was 100% a loser and probably would have been crushed when my friend and I spent more time with each other and he was left to watch.”

—Maria, 25

15. “Current guy is a monster in the sack, good looking, and successful. If he wanted to be with another woman in a threesome I’m pretty sure I’d be crushed by feelings of insecurity. So, no, I don’t want to test that.”

—Callie, 25

16. “It’s interesting, I had a threesome with a girlfriend and my boyfriend at the time when I was twenty and it was awkward and fun and memorable but now I don’t have any interest in it. I think it just speaks to how unserious a lot of college relationships are where you’re just trying people and things on to see how they work for you. At 27 it would be impossible to recreate that silly, naive atmosphere. Everything has a lot more weight now.”

—Audrey, 27

17. “With a girl, maybe. With a guy, no.”

—Claire, 21

18. “I was in one threesome about ten years ago with an older couple I actually met at a bar if you can believe it. I enjoyed it but I really enjoyed the anonymity and that it didn’t really effect my life at all. If a boyfriend asked me to be in a threesome of any kind with him I’d be extremely hesitant to say the least because our relationship would then have to live with that decision.”

—Jane, 26

19. “I’m not definitely against the idea but it’s not like a top 10 fantasy of mine or whatever. I do wonder how it would change our relationship.”

—Sara, 25

20. “As a girl who’s been cheated on in two different relationships, I’ll pass on letting my boyfriend have sex with another woman in front of me.”

—Denise, 22

21. “I very likely would say no because threesomes can be really destructive, I think, if everyone’s not honest with one another. I’m no threesome veteran but I had a boyfriend (note I said ‘had’) in my mid-twenties who wanted to have a threesome with a friend of his who was supposedly super hung. I went for it because he seemed to really want it. It was fun initially but my boyfriend got insecure about the size difference which was pretty big and even though that didn’t matter much to me it was the only thing that mattered to him and he became extremely insecure sexually despite me reassuring him endlessly. We broke up later but I think our relationship was actually destroyed half way through that threesome. They’re not for thin-skinned.”

—Jamie, 29