Lauren Smith

The problem is we don’t like it. The problem is it freaks us out. The problem is we know what he really means when he says, “Keep smiling.”

To free perfectionists from the confining lines of their own brutal rubrics, we must stop revering them and see them for what they really are. We must redefine the perfectionist.

A candidate can appear nearly perfect on paper. But that doesn’t mean he’ll be the partner I was craving.

Every episode leaves me cringing, and I can’t help but imagine how the show would differ had it been written by someone who refused to settle for clichéd notions of gender conformity. 

By promising to help me overcome my bikini fears, they imply that they understand my bikini fears.

Your perfectionism has become an illness, slowly poisoning you on your quest to have the perfect body, the perfect grade, the perfect résumé, the perfect outfit, the perfect credentials.

New Yorkers’ way of life could perplex anyone, but perhaps the transplant with the most to learn is the humble country bumpkin, a rare genus of American prevailing from the so-called Flyover States.

Being childfree involves a second person so rarely discussed: your partner. And it doesn’t matter if he sits on the bathroom floor with you for an hour, sharing your sobs, calling you beautiful and amazing. He wants a child. And you don’t.

You say, “I could never give up cheese.” Yeah, that’s what I used to say. And then I did. You ask, “Where do you get your protein?” The same way elephants do — plants. You say, “Chili without meat is not real chili.”

If you think about it, it’s kind of selfish to make your own baby so it has your eyes when there are thousands of orphans and foster children out there for you to raise. But that’s just me.

“Why do we give police officers the right to use excessive physical force — whenever they want — in our cities?”

Whether you are having guests over for wine and hors d’oeuvres or an elaborate dinner, hosting your first party can be exhausting on your panic-wrought soul. Thankfully, I took one for the bumbling mess of a team we are and ventured into the terrifying world of hosting. The verdict: I did it, and you can, too! Yes, my mentally tortured friend, you can execute a dinner party and nothing will start on fire.