10 Things I Miss Most About Twilight

You read that correctly. Twilight. I love real books, too, but long before Kristen Stewart ruined Bella and when I was not yet 21 (and therefore permitted into the exciting places of my college town), I read these books and completely devoured their albeit ridiculous love story. I’m not kidding. I loved them, and I am not ashamed. Their releases in theaters and their hysteria made me both extremely happy and desperately annoyed at the same time. Nevertheless, their ending has left a huge hole in my vampire heart. What exactly do I miss?

1. Midnight Openings: I was in my barely 20 when the first film came out, so obviously I have always been far too sophisticated (ha) for the little tweens who screamed with excitement and wore homemade shirts to the midnight showings. No. Instead, I wore my embarrassingly overpriced “real” Twilight shirt and was there with bells on. The only thing more exciting than a midnight showing is a midnight showing for a book that you have strange, rabid enthusiasm for.

2. Team Jacob vs. Team Edward: Oh yeah, shake your head and think this is ridiculous but if you’ve ever come within 8 feet of the Twilight series, you’ve taken a side. I’m not here to decree one as better than the other, but on a serious note, as someone who works in higher education, I really do enjoy seeing young people get so enthusiastic about a series that they pick a team. Is it psychotic? Absolutely. Afterall, these characters aren’t real, but I have heard and been witness to some very compelling arguments for each side. For example: Edward is a little crybaby bitch and Jacob is obviously the better choice. He can give her a real, natural, healthy life, and Edward’s a leach.

3. The Soundtracks: I really actually adore all of the Twilight soundtracks. They’re actually better than the films themselves, and should be given due credit to introducing the world to some seriously talented bands.

4. The Twilight Haters: I can’t really explain this one as well as I’d like to, but I actually really do miss hearing people blatantly hate or insult Twilight, especially people who would admit that they’d never read the books or seen the films. No doubt, screaming Twilight tweens were the worst, but there’s an equally repulsive and fascinating element to the people who hated Twilight just to hate it. These people exist in all corners of the world/internet and I accept that, but the Twilight haters were just so vehement. They didn’t bother me because, well, I was 20-24 and didn’t really care if they hated teen vampire/werewolf love stories because it didn’t have anything to do with me, but I miss them and their disdain for Edward Cullen.

5. Billy Burke: Charlie Swan was hands down the funniest, most entertaining part of all the Twilight movies. I miss his pointed moments as Bella’s pop.

6. Kristen Stewart’s facial expressions: Whether it’s pure emotional void or the look of vomitus nausea before the wedding, no one emits confusing facial expressions as the highly unlikable Bella Swan like KStew. She has done some great acting. She also made any number of faces and unexplainable hand movements as Bella.

7. Stephenie Meyer’s original website (pre-movies): It was just so sweet and simple. I loved it when she would post giddily excited details about possible soundtracks, contact with Muse, and sometimes even sneak casting information. The countdowns to the next book release were the best. It was just plain fandom with an understated URL.

8. How bad the first movie was: It was so bad that I don’t even own it. I miss how much I truly hated that movie and was disgusted by it before they redeemed themselves by getting another director. It’s probably the worst, corniest, all around crappiest movie I have ever seen, book or no book. The truth of its repulsiveness seems to have been lost amidst the sparkle of the other movies.

9. Crying over/during a book: Sure, I cry over books all the time, but you’ve got to hand it to Meyer in really breaking a heart when Edward leaves Bella. And then when she totally ruins Jacob’s life in the last one. It’s so ridiculous, but it lends to such a good cry. WHY, Bella? Why can’t you just clone yourself and pick them both so it can be like a Goosebumps book where you get to choose your own ending and see what happens in both universes?

10. Robert Pattinson and his disgust for Twilight: The modern day Romeo/Beatles member couldn’t have given fewer f***s about Twilight, and it just made him more endearing. Again, I can’t really explain this one, but just seeing his disinterest in all things Twilight and Twilight fandom reassured me that yes, this crazy, rabid fanbase for Twilight was ridiculous, but it still existed. Like a cold pool, fun to dip your foot in, but downright scary if you submerse yourself.

Twilight may not have been great literature, but those books hold a special place in my heart because they created characters that really came to life in my mind. I felt their love story, and I watched it stumble its way onto the silver screen. I miss Twilight and I probably will forever. Good thing I have all the soundtracks as a playlist on my phone so I can listen and remember.