Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

HOLY SHIT. HOLLYY SHIT. OMG. I CANNOT BREATHE. WHAT IN THE HECK, TAYLOR SWIFT. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?????????

For the age of 28, you will have a major crisis and nervous breakdown about feeling like you’re incredibly behind in everything. All your friends are engaged or married or they have children. And all you want to do is be like them. But you’re wired differently.

You don’t need that guy or that girl or that ex. You don’t need someone else who already left to make you feel good. You don’t need his love. You don’t need his heart or his soul or his mind. You do not need their guidance.

For me, dating is an entire world of anxiety. What do I wear? What if he takes me home? What if he kills me? What if I have nothing to say? Do I write notes in my phone for discussion topics? What if I choke and I die while he’s talking about his cute dogs to me?

I need to let them go. I need to let all that negativity go. And so do you. And after you do, please forgive yourself. You will never please everybody in this world. Not everyone in this world will love you. But at least you can love yourself.

One day you will back at those terrible experiences and be grateful it happened. 

You know it won’t be like this forever. I mean, you hope. Because that’s what your friends and parents say. That’s what every advice article says. That’s what I’ve even said before. But, will you? Will he or her? Will I? Can you ever stop loving the person you gave your heart to? Can you ever heal that part of your heart that they took from you?

Now, after ten years of silence they are back with a banging single, ‘Take Me’ and guys, IT IS SO GOOD. THEY CAME THROUGH AND I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. 

One day you will be able to breathe knowing that this person won’t leave. You’ll be able to breathe knowing that this love is going to stay. And that this person isn’t going to abandon  you or run away. You’ll know deep inside your heart that this love won’t ever break you.

When love is real and true, there is no way to fully get over it.

Maybe it’s selfish of me, or perhaps narcissistic of me. Maybe I feel a bit possessive over you. Or maybe I just wish you still felt the same about me as you did before. Maybe I just wish you still loved me.

Stalk my ex and like his Instagram picture and then slowly come to the realization that I just did that so I quickly unlike it and pray he doesn’t notice.