I’m Slowly Learning How To Not Feel Sorry For Myself (Even When Life Sucks)

I’m slowly learning how to not throw myself a pity party every time I make a mistake, or get rejected, or feel lost. I’m slowly learning how to walk through life without having to wallow in the sadness and the pain and the heartache. And I’m learning how to take accountability for my actions.

I’m not perfect. I never will be. Just like anyone else, I will fuck up. I will do something stupid. I will fail at things probably much sooner than later. I will trip and fall and fall some more. I will lose people along the way. I will break hearts. I will break my own. 

But I’m learning to how to forgive myself for that. I’m learning how to learn from my past and my mistakes, instead of sit in a puddle of my own tears.

I’d be wasting time if all I ever did was cry over already spilled milk. I’d be wasting precious seconds and minutes and days of this life. And this life is far too precious and short to spend it sulking.

I am slowly learning to be human. I am slowly learning what it actually means to be human. Being human is not a fairytale. Being human is not always seeing the glass half full. No, it’s work. It’s hard work. It’s sometimes miserable and dark and foggy.

But I can’t spend another minute feeling sorry for myself. It doesn’t do me any good and it doesn’t do anyone else any good. So, live your life. Mess up. Fuck up. Embrace your imperfections and your mistakes. Learn from the times of heartache and rejection. Learn from the darkness, instead of sitting in it. And then get up and start again.

I’m slowly learning how to be okay with not being okay. I’m slowly learning how to be okay with making mistakes in my personal life and in my professional career. I’m slowly learning how to be okay with people not liking me. I’m slowly learning how to be okay with every single struggle I go and live and survive through.

I’m slowly learning how to be okay with feeling weak and small and insignificant. But I won’t let that have power over me. That isn’t going to make or break my life. So I’m slowly but surely learning how to get off my high horse and admit that I’m just human. Only human. Not a robot.

I’m slowly learning as time moves on, that I can’t waste it. I can’t waste this second on this earth. So why would I spend it crying over something that has already been said or done? Why would I spend it thinking that I’m unlovable or that I’m ugly or that I suck.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Don’t let those negative thoughts affect you. Just brush yourself off and get up again. Keep walking. Keep breathing. Keep messing up. And keep thriving and starting over, again and again.