How To Let Go Of Someone Who Was Never Yours

We all have those relationships. The ones that start as quickly as they end. The ones that are fire at the beginning, and your eyes are full of stars and you feel like you’re drunk on lust. And then out of nowhere, it gets cut off. And they are gone. Just. Like. That.

I’ve had my share fair of ‘almost relationships’. They are my least favorite of what can even be defined as a ‘relationship’. Why? Because there’s never a line that is defined. There’s never a definite answer to anything. It always feels like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of yourself and unsure of the other person.

It’s always flickering. Never stable. Never concrete. Never real.

And it when it happens to you, you will be devastated. Because even though in the back of your mind, you knew it wouldn’t work, you still help out hope. You still thought that maybe they’d like you too. You still believed that maybe, a miracle would happen.

But it didn’t. It ended. Abruptly. Without warning. Like a slap in the face and a knife to the heart. You are probably thinking that it’s your fault. That you could’ve done something or said something to make them change their mind. But the truth is, as cliche as it sounds, this is about them not you.

This is their mistake. Not yours. So you need to gain your power back. Gain your confidence back. Gain your self esteem back. Gain your heart back.

Take some time to be alone. You need to process this shock to the system. You need to wallow. To let your tears fall softly down your cheeks. You need to cry until you’re out of steam. You need to miss them. To miss their laugh and the way they made you laugh and to miss them so much it’ll be hard to breathe. Take some time to be broken. Take some time to shatter.

Then, really think. Think about their communication skills. Did they text you in the morning? Did they actually listen to what you were saying half of the time? Did they walk you home after a drunken night or did they call you a cab to get rid of you? Did they meet your needs? Did they make you fulfilled and loved?

Chances are, they didn’t.

They probably aren’t sitting here broken hearted. They probably aren’t throwing themselves a pity party. They probably are going out tonight, back on the prowl. They probably aren’t even thinking about you or what they made you go through.

And the truth is, they probably never cared about you.

Get your priorities straight. Put your heart back into first place. Promise yourself that you’ll stop putting your heart on the line. Promise yourself you’ll stop exposing your heart to people like that. And promise that next time you find someone with a devilish smile and a way with words that sounds too good to be true, follow your gut.

You’re too precious to break your heart over and over again. It’s time to reclaim yourself. It’s time to rise up against the players and the fuck boys. It’s time to treat yourself with kindness and with tenderness.

And in time, you won’t ever think about the boy or girl who broke you. And in time, you won’t even remember the almost relationship that used to feel like the end of your world.